View Full Version : JournalOfStuff

21st July 2011, 05:40 PM
What a great name.

This will primarily be used as some sort of half-assed record for what I remember from my nights out, or updates on trivial game-related shit. Yeah, nothing particularly personal will be found here.

As of now though, I don't really have much to say except:


Get this so we can play some games. And test my mod for it.

21st July 2011, 11:03 PM
Well I'll be damned—I didn't think you'd make a thread. XD I look forward to future entries, and yeah, I will get round to checking OpenRA out myself. I do hope I'll be opening the actual gaming club again one day, but do remember you can try and create an event for playing it on the Steam group. (Even if OpenRA isn't a Steam game.) Not that anyone will actually show up if past gaming attempts are anything to go by. :P

22nd July 2011, 06:16 AM
Well so many weird and retarded things happen on my nights out that I felt like sharing some of the less obscene* ones... Not that I can really remember any in particular at the moment. I guess this thread will also be my place for ranting about whatever puts me in a shitty mood or just generally irks me.

So that'd be 95% of the universe then.

*By obscene in this context, I mean 'sweary'. I'm not the sort to suddenly agree to randomly start humping a complete stranger in public, especially if I'm pissed-up and hungry. Not that I'd share details of that anyway.

Dr. Killjoy
23rd July 2011, 01:02 AM
Well, you're about the last person I expected to have a topic here!

Looking forward to future entries. This has the potential to be the most entertaining journal here.

30th July 2011, 07:55 PM
After posting nothing, I figured I needed an excuse to moan about something. Anything, in fact. I'm obviously not out anywhere this weekend (I'm out on Monday though, of all days), so I've got little to start working myself into a rage over...

...so the arcade will do nicely.

Now, I have to clarify; I like the addition of the arcade a hell of a lot, and the quality of the games is by no means a reflection on the admin of this site (far from it; we have in fact discussed a few of the bugs and crappy faults within the featured games), but seeing as I'm sitting here with an army of empty beer cans in front of me and can't be bothered to record any gameplay right now (my so-called 'subscribers' don't seem to be worth it at the moment), I'm going to crank the 'Age Dial' forward by about 50 years and pretend I'm one of the many geriatrics roaming the country in their mid-70's and still playing Spectrum ZX81 games.

(Oh shit, they'd still have been older than me back then.)

Or at least I will turn into an O.A.P. after screaming some very 20-something language at my fat retarded neighbour...

...right, so where was I? Oh yeah, the arcade.

I'll start on the pinball game.

Sometimes, the ball & flipper will hatch some sort of conspiracy against the player (alexjones.gif), leaving me with a very confused and agitated look on my face. I know that's not particularly far from my usual expression after several beers, but the inexplicable turn of events left me feeling somewhat miffed, especially when it all seemed to be going so well. Oh, and the 'dead zone' space seems to have some sort of gravitational pull. Still, I very much doubt the makers of a cerbonated soft-drink looked into the mechanics and design of any real pinball tables, so when it comes to one that's designed and built with Flash then it's not really much to get worked up about.

Alright, so it is, but nobody gives a shit.

Erm, that'll do for now. There's definitely something up with that Duck Hunt game, and I don't mean the bastard dog. But that's another story for later. Probably about 15 minutes from now.

30th July 2011, 08:46 PM
Some facts for the day.

Nearly 40% of the internet consists of porn
Nearly 99% of Flash games are shit
The Flash version of Duck Hunt in the arcade is unfair
And the other games too

The 7up Pinball game was one of the first games I installed about half a year back, but for some reason I decided to postpone the whole arcade system, probably until I could integrate wong with it which was a recent development. I deleted most of the crappy games but I decided to keep 7up Pinball for some reason. It's pretty crappy to say the least. I'll get something better on eventually. My main problem is with Duck Hunt. Jetpac isn't so bad because from what I gather the Spectrum version is similar. With Duck Hunt, I often face:

Shots missing despite actually hitting a duck
Shots hitting even though the crosshair is seemingly a little away from a duck
Shots not even firing at all—I click and nothing happens, and by the time I click again it's too late... and yes, this isn't an exclusive problem to my computer since it happened on my laptop too

Anyway, good luck with it. I hope others make use of it since I'd like to see more challengers, and that might eventually (in the distant future) allow me to use the tournament system that is currently disabled. Expect Donkey Kong next weekend. Hopefully.

30th July 2011, 08:58 PM
Duck Hunt.

I really want to type in an obscene title for that, but it won't show.

Anyway, yes. The gun doesn't always fire. The ducks often cheat in numerous ways. Shots seem to be nothing but blanks for half a round...

'Rage' is putting it nicely. I would put in the usual string of expletives that I shout when it spits feathers and glitches at me, but the whole forum would turn a similar shade of blue to the default background.

Hopefully Donkey Kong will only be rolling barrels at me, and not barrels of shit.

Dr. Killjoy
30th July 2011, 09:36 PM
...I didn't even know about the arcade =O

And it has De-Animator! I've played that one, and I actually like it. If you'll excuse me, I need to try to top Mantis's record.

EDIT: Done.

EDIT 2: Well, I held that record for all of 10 minutes.

31st July 2011, 10:45 PM
I'm pissing around with a sprite sequence for C&C, in order to create a new tank.


This is one of the most fiddly & infuriating tasks undertaken by anyone, ever. And what you see there is only half of it.

31st July 2011, 11:07 PM
What are you running, Windows 98? :P Looks pretty good though. Yeah, I know all about tedious tasks not feeling as if they make a difference, but keep it up and post the final thing when it's done. :)

3rd August 2011, 09:30 PM
So aside from that bastard tank SHP (which is pretty much done now, just need to add stupid turret detail) and the other things I keep myself occupied with, I've recently reinstalled Diablo and have been spending an almost unfathomable amount of time in Multiplayer. For some reason though I have yet to reach anywhere near the end. Of course this isn't helped by the fact that every time I start a new server, we have to start from the beginning again.*

I don't know what's going on with the difficulty that could be making everything so goddamn difficult, but it's pretty suspicious; on our first attempt we were using fresh characters -- crap skills, no special items, high chance of kicking the bucket -- so the difficulty was understandable (allowing us to get a mere 8 floors down before being beaten around like underpants in a washing machine). We quit before losing absolutely everything (believe me, trying to recover lost items from a horde of angry goatmen and archers borders on sado-masochism), but not before losing everything that drastically improved our stats.

Next day we try again (although my ally is once again using a fresh character to see if it gives us an advantage later on). Despite me now having much higher stats and making short work of anything that can be considered dangerous in the early game, we're suddenly and inexplicably getting battered by the time we get only 5 floors down. Once again, the eighth level proves to be some sort of 'here comes everything at once' stage that gives out an incredibly painful slippering, despite the pair of us being far better equipped and supposedly able to take more punishment. We get past it after much resurrecting and forcing all the hordes to follow us in a single-file line for easy (well, slightly less very dangerous) killing, but didn't even attempt Fl. 9 after seeing (and being kicked around by) what was waiting for us right by the stairs.


At this rate, I'll be doing 180° and walking back out of the dungeons before I even see an enemy, never mind fight one.

(*Alright, so the shortcuts are open at the start... but there's all sorts of good items and other shit that can be very beneficial in one way or another.)

In other news, there's some sort of family gathering going on this weekend, special guest starring some guy and his family who I have never met before in my life.

In fact, none of us have. Turns out that he's apparently a long-lost relative of sorts, so this means I have absolutely no idea of what to expect. I might just disappear down the pub for the night or something; I have this awful feeling that he's either going to be:
1) A complete knob with all the intelligence, humour and sophistication of 10th generation inbreds.
2) A politically-correct testicle with not only a chip on his shoulder over something that shouldn't bother him, but an entire bag of potatoes that he'll attempt to weigh on our shoulders too (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun).
3) A smug, self-satisfied cockwad that's going to look down on everyone else because he has a bigger car or some other trivial, materialistic reason.
4) A cocky smartmouth that I'm going to have to resist glassing after he cracks his 50th shit joke at someone's expense.

Alright, so he may be none of those things. But I don't want to risk it, because I really like the glass I drink out of and you can't get them any more.

(Yes, I do know people like types 1-4. They're impossible to like, and refuse to go away. And why the hell is 'test-icle' (awful attempt at censor bypass) a censored word?)

4th August 2011, 12:33 AM
Good question. Why is testicle a filtered word? Oh, wait. It's because the word filter list I downloaded was made by a moron with fine words filtered, and as you can see, I removed that filter. The filter's only really for the most vulgar of words. Anyway...

Seems Diablo's still a royal pain. Well, you're giving me reason enough not to play it. :P I've played enough hard-as-nails games recently to just want something that plays itself for me. On second thoughts, no. I don't want to play CoD right now. Anyways, I hope you manage to get through it in the end. XD

Goddamn, I sometimes hate family gatherings myself. Especially if it involves watching old relatives I don't even know dancing. That would be one of the few times I'd really want some hard liquor.

4th August 2011, 05:47 PM
Diablo's only being difficult because we're short on meatshields decoys spares a... uh, mighty warrior.

Yeah, that's the one.

(That's the worst subtle hint ever.)

In all seriousness though, it's still fun in spite of the difficulty. If anything, it gives the game a longer lifespan (unlike the friggin' heroes in it); the maps are randomly generated, so it's never a case of going through the same areas with the same monsters that drop the same items in the same places every time you play.

Good thing too, because sometimes the areas it generates are just cruel.

As for this man from the east (of England), I'll let everyone else deal with it. Nothing to do with me, because technically speaking he's not even part of my family.

Dr. Killjoy
6th August 2011, 01:54 AM
4) A cocky smartmouth that I'm going to have to resist glassing after he cracks his 50th shit joke at someone's expense.

This is so much better if you're American, because here "glassing" only means "destroying with a nuclear weapon".

6th August 2011, 10:01 AM
I wonder if I could drink beer from a nuclear weapon...

6th August 2011, 11:45 AM
Rads +1000

2nd September 2011, 08:43 AM
So three or so weeks later, it's probably worth mentioning that the dreaded family gathering went without a problem. I didn't sit downstairs with everyone much, because the conversation was some waffle that didn't really interest me. Instead I just got drunk and played C&C with my cousin and progressively got worse at killing the AI off as all the beer slowly sedated the useful parts of my brain.

And then I went away and spent time doing nothing of importance for the most part of two weeks.

So what have I been doing since getting back?

**** all. Playing games and whatnot, the usual. In particular some real shitty ones from decades ago, all to make videos out of. Because for some reason people like to watch that sort of thing.

Dr. Killjoy
4th September 2011, 04:10 AM
Getting drunk and playing C&C?

Good to see the gathering didn't limit your ability to partake in your usual hobbies =P

5th September 2011, 03:30 PM
I wouldn't let it get in the way. Ever.

7th September 2011, 05:26 PM
It occurred to me last night, after getting home at 3AM from the pub, that I invariably stumble into some sort of interdimensional gateway and do nothing for needless amounts of time after having a drink. The pub I usually go to shuts at 12AM (1AM Fri/Sat), it's a 20 minute walk away, and the terrain is flat... yet it still takes me three ****ing hours to find my front door.

And the really annoying thing is that I don't remember anything from the walk back either, and I wasn't even that pissed!

7th September 2011, 06:43 PM
Maybe you passed out without realising, or got transported to Phobos.

8th September 2011, 03:10 PM
I didn't, but apparently the guy I was drinking with managed to near-enough break his face on the way home. And he lives even closer to the pub than I do!

**** it. I'm also going to use this topic for whatever stupid rants I go into to. I would create another topic for that, but it's better if I rant here. It just fits in better amongst my other inane ramblings.

12th September 2011, 09:42 PM
Here's something to make you all rage:


It's ****ing impossible.

12th September 2011, 09:57 PM
I got the key, landed on GAME OVER, and gave up.

13th September 2011, 09:45 PM
Sod all to report today, because it's the middle of the week, and usually ****-all happens on any day between Monday and Friday.

What I did do though, was download the expansion to Diablo and then proceed to piss around needlessly like so:


Oh god it's not even a goddamn expansion mission aaaarrrrrrgggggghh..!

14th September 2011, 12:41 AM
Ok, after trying that game 50 times I have finally given up. Since it is all based on luck I would say the chances of actually finishing that are about 1/100,000,000 though that is only a rough guess.

The furthest I managed to get was picking up the key, passing the start location again and then falling into the spikes right beside the first door, four times.

Diablo I and II are both fantastic games, though I won't be buying the third one. I refuse to buy any game that requires a constant online connection for single-player.

14th September 2011, 03:07 AM
Well, I'm sure the "online community" will do something about that. Spore much?

14th September 2011, 06:29 AM
Mantis has a good point, it's not long before a hive of nerds (let's face it, they are) hack all the useless horrible shit away from a game and allow everyone to play it without being connected. All the same though, I won't be buying Diablo III either... at least until that happens.

Which is a real ****ing shame because I was looking forward to that!

The furthest I managed to get was picking up the key, passing the start location again and then falling into the spikes right beside the first door, four times.

Same here. I don't even get to 'roll' when on the bridge; the first roll that gets me there has invariably landed me on "FALL DOWN AND DIE GAME OVER".

14th September 2011, 09:21 PM
That is exactly what I had in mind, though I still won't be buying it. I will simply find another way of getting it. :D

One similar game that I have my eyes on is Torchlight 2. They will only require a single online activation once you buy the game, they will support mods and it is going for only $20, according to PCG.

If they follow that price it might be about £20 which means two people can buy it and play co-op for the price of a usual AAA game.

If you can't wait until it is released I would recommend picking up the original Torchlight. In my opinion, they did a great job with that especially for it only taking 11 months to make.

15th September 2011, 05:36 PM
That is exactly what I had in mind, though I still won't be buying it. I will simply find another way of getting it. :D

Shhh! We don't even imply this sort of thing here!

Another inane Diablo-related post regarding Hellfire.

Hell difficulty for anything but a maxed-out character with insanely powerful items is ****ing impossible. Anything after Floor 5 just spontaneously kills you, and it's invariably with a hail of arrows.

Going to expand on this post with the first 'episode' (i.e. possibly incoherent lump of text) of something I'm going to call Stupid Shit I Don't Understand. And I'm going to start with...

Foot fetishes. Seriously, what the **** is this shit? Out of all the areas of the body you could find arousing, you pick what is probably one of the least aesthetically pleasing parts. Can someone explain this to me?

Apparently it's something to do with the way that the brain's 'wires' for stimulation and feet sensory information are close by, and as such the signals somehow get mixed up... as though your head is home to a really shitty, badly-run railway with the world's most incompetent signalmen on duty, but come on. Apparently? So it's all just speculation and the real reason could be something as simple as 'they are just plain odd'?

I really just don't get it. It's a ****ing foot! It's a bony, angular, irregular-shaped object that grows talons if left unchecked. It smells after a day out, can't grip anything particularly well (read that how you will), and does nothing of any particular interest whatsoever. When someone has an ugly face, you say they look like a foot. What does this do to these foot-lovers? Are these foot-faced people suddenly re-... oh **** it, I'm going for a beer.

15th September 2011, 08:06 PM
Actually, I've never heard the whole looking like a foot insult thing. Obviously I've heard of a face looking like a slapped arse or variants of that. ("Your face, your ass—what's the difference?" :P) As for your question, well, it's hard to give a proper answer. It wouldn't be a fetish if a lot of people didn't question it, as fetishes are usually peculiar sexual fixations. Believe me, there are stranger fetishes than foot fetishes, but I won't delve into that. "Whatever floats your boat", as they say. And I can guarantee a lot of people on this forum have fetishes they wouldn't admit, because that's just human nature.

Aaaanyway, let's not turn this into Fetish Central UK.

15th September 2011, 08:10 PM
And I can guarantee a lot of people on this forum have fetishes they wouldn't admit, because that's just **** YOU I'M A DRAGON nature.

Fix'd. Dohoho.

Aaaanyway, let's not turn this into Fetish Central UK.

Yes. Believe me, that's the last thing I want.

Heresiarch Grimm
15th September 2011, 08:27 PM
Upon readng your "correction" of Mantis' thing I can only think back to when I was roaming Skulltag (as you do) and someone openly announced they had a Dragon (not caring about gender) fetish as a means of trolling.

This person was a moron.

Anyway, shifting topic. Baron, how come you don't use steam?

15th September 2011, 08:36 PM
It interferes when I'm recording games, and I'm recording a lot at the moment. Quake in particular.

Heresiarch Grimm
15th September 2011, 08:43 PM
Interferes how? Noise? Slowdown?


15th September 2011, 08:52 PM
Those bastard update messages!

I don't give a flying **** if TF2 needs updating! Just update it quietly, in the background, without putting some obscene ****-off box in the corner of the screen!

Heresiarch Grimm
15th September 2011, 09:00 PM
Isn't there a setting that removes that? Failing that, just do what I do.

Turn the updates off via telling it to pause.

15th September 2011, 09:11 PM
Unrelated; why the **** isn't Hellfire MP-enabled? Blacksmith Oil is good.

Heresiarch Grimm
15th September 2011, 09:30 PM
Because then we could both be Monks and faceroll the game.

15th September 2011, 09:37 PM
I'm still using the Rogue. I just like using bows far too much.

Dr. Killjoy
16th September 2011, 02:21 AM
Fetishes of any kind defy explanation, really. I won't be naming any, but I'm sure at least some of you know what I'm thinking of.

as though your head is home to a really shitty, badly-run railway with the world's most incompetent signalmen on duty

Come to think of it, this would explain a lot of problems in the world.

16th September 2011, 08:44 AM
I don't understand the hype around Carlsberg.

I found a can on a wall earlier in the week, and it tasted like piss.

16th September 2011, 02:19 PM
Was it an open can? That might explain it...

16th September 2011, 02:38 PM
I wasn't being serious about finding the can D:

But Carlsberg really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Still, it's better than Carling. You can literally taste all of the added chemicals in that shit.

16th September 2011, 02:50 PM
Yeah, sometimes it's hard to tell whether you're joking or not. :P And with your kebab stories I could imagine you gulping down a drink on a wall. Anyway, to me, all beer/lager/etc tastes like hell. Like I've expressed before, if I want to get drunk I'll down the high-percentage stuff. Why bother with stuff that takes longer when all alcohol tastes bad? I couldn't fathom why anyone would like the taste. Must be in denial.

Heresiarch Grimm
16th September 2011, 02:54 PM
Because not everyone can afford a large bottle of Smirnoff and would rather burn money on what is essentially apples, grass or crops grounded down and then devoured by germs and turned into an alcoholic substence.

20th September 2011, 10:46 AM
Either that or they want to feel themselves getting drunk slowly in order to relax and be able to continue drinking for longer.

As you get older and drink frequently, the novelty of chucking back a bottle of spirits loses its appeal completely. The end result (being pissed up) is much the same as having several beers/ciders, so why rush it and skip the good part?

24th September 2011, 09:27 AM
Alright, here's something that really gets on my ****ing nerves for some reason.

The 'people you may know' section on Facebook. I must admit that I don't really use Facebook for much anyway (on average, I post only one tasteless joke or offensive comment a day before leaving again), but every time I do sign in... there it is, staring at me.

You click the 'X' to get rid of them, but no. You go back to the homepage, and there they are again, pulling some stupid ****ing face because someone's taking a picture. Well you're still clearly the same vain, self-satisfied, smug, attention-seeking, pie-faced cockend that you were at the age of 9! Stop suggesting these bastards! **** off with that idiot picture!

If I want to add someone I'll do it my-****ing-self!

24th September 2011, 02:28 PM
I'll admit, those "panels" have annoyed me in the past, though for the most part the more relevant ones have gone away when I've closed them. e.g. The ones from school with quite a lot of mutual friends, but I don't really want to add anyway.

Nowadays it just recommends people I have no clue about who I share one friend in common with. Then again, that's probably in part due to the fact I removed most of my school friends and many non-local friends with some exceptions. I'm considering closing down my Facebook account (it'll buy me some time to spend not procrastinating), but since the Outlaw Star UK page is linked to it, it's not that simple.

24th September 2011, 04:39 PM
I would close mine down, but it's the only way I can communicate with some people.

Something else that makes my piss boil is how the news feed works:
"This person you know posted a comment that doesn't concern you in any way at all, on some person who you don't know in the slightest's wall. Here it is!"

This doesn't have anything to do with me; why the **** do I have to be told about it?!

27th September 2011, 01:17 PM
Just a quick update before I sit around doing nothing for the rest of the night:
No, not really.

27th September 2011, 01:19 PM
Rest of the night? O_o Where in the world are you?

27th September 2011, 02:57 PM
Well alright, so it's definitely too early to consider it 'night' just yet... I just felt like posting that picture because it makes me laugh.

Heresiarch Grimm
27th September 2011, 02:58 PM
Baron. What is your stance on fizzy candy and flapjacks?

Also, I'm ready to work on SDMP. Just link me the stuff and I'll work on it ASAHP

27th September 2011, 04:55 PM
I stand amused. :D

27th September 2011, 08:49 PM
I'm ready to work on SDMP. Just link me the stuff and I'll work on it ASAHP

Start a standard ST-content map for the time being, because I still need to clean up the resource WAD and tweak/remove things/shit. I'll probably send the resources and DB Config during the week.

Think up creative layouts
Keep things fair (it is the 'training' episode after all)
Use OpenGL features (3D Floors/Water in particular)
Expect the end result to be edited in some way

Spam monsters/weapons
Saturate everything with colourmaps
Use ACS cutscenes
Use MP3/OGG music
Add any custom items/textures
Make some overcomplicated mess that results in one map taking 10 hours to pass


Heresiarch Grimm
27th September 2011, 08:53 PM
I'd much rather have the stuff before I start map making. That way I can plan this out rather than try and fit stuff in.

Dr. Killjoy
28th September 2011, 07:06 PM
I take it that's your new TF2 spray? Let's just say I lost.

Looking forward to seeing what Doom maps you can produce, Grimm.

What exactly is an ACS cutscene? I can also see Baron wasn't a fan of Hell Revealed.

Heresiarch Grimm
28th September 2011, 07:11 PM
It's a cutscene triggered by ACS. Go download UACMN, that uses alot of them.

28th September 2011, 08:30 PM
Go download UACMN, that uses alot of them.


14th October 2011, 07:56 AM
http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/309729_2381167961178_1010066892_2739563_943026734_ n.jpg

Figure that out.

14th October 2011, 08:28 AM
They charge your mourning family? It's nice they said death is instant though. I mean, Christ, I wouldn't want to have to feel countless volts pass through me and sear my whole body (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bagPyvhg21c&feature=player_detailpage#t=154s).

29th October 2011, 02:30 PM
JJB sports is still open, just enough time to go and cobble together a Jimmy Saville outfit for tonight. But what an inconsiderate prick. If I'm gonna get a Jimmy Savile mask ready in time for Halloween I'm gonna have to start digging up Nan now.

9th January 2012, 09:48 AM
Nothing amazing happened to me at all during the entire downtime, including Christmas/New year. In fact, less than nothing.

Oh alright, so I went and saw Kasabian at the O2, which is always a good thing because they're ****ing amazing live. And I also had several nights out where numerous topics of a ludicrous nature were discussed. I can't say what these topics were though because I can't remember them properly, other than commenting on how huge some guy's feet were. Oddly enough someone said my feet were big (and I suppose they are, at a size UK13) only moments earlier, but seriously... this random bloke in the corner had ****ing clown feet.

Anything else... no. Just the usual standard of eating, drinking and playing videogames, with some work-related crap sprinkled around during the run-up to Christmas. Because presents are expensive, and all that bullshit.

9th January 2012, 10:04 AM
I'm a wearer of 12/13 shoes myself and I'm often told my feet are big. Sometimes I notice how small others' feet are, though. Same goes for height. I'd rather be tall than short. But not lanky or with clown feet...

Ah, Christmas presents. I sometimes feel a little selfish when agitated slightly by the fact others hadn't spent as much on my gift. Well, this doesn't always happen. Often I'm just given money, which is nice, but a pretty lazy option compared to how I spent ages thinking of what to buy for them.

9th January 2012, 10:20 AM
I can't say I'm bothered about the price of what I get (to an extent), as long as it's something I can use.

Money may be a lazy option, but at the same time I often prefer it; I can keep it for when I see something odd/uncommon, and it eliminates any possiblity of 'awkward gift moment'.

9th January 2012, 10:32 AM
Well, whilst I did specify money as the key factor, I sort of said that on a whim. It is the thought that counts. What I meant to say really was if it's cheap and half-assed, I'd be a little annoyed. Like getting deodorant and the like. I have enough of that. I don't need heaps more every Christmas.

And yeah, true. God, I hate having to fake a smile when it comes to aforementioned crappy presents. "This is... great! Thank you! (What is this I don't even.)"

7th February 2012, 10:37 PM

11th February 2012, 06:35 PM
Pissed again*.

I was supposed to be going out tonight, but as usual it all goes tits-up with an hour to go, and here I am... yet again drinking myself stupid in front of my PC. But enough about that, because this post is only going to be a picture show of sorts. A few posts back I mentioned something about some random guy with huge feet. Well here is the photo I took while suppressing my laughter:

And while I'm here uploading shitty-looking images from my ancient mobile, here's one I took a very long time ago of someone with a balloon stuck to their head:

Oh go on then, one more. This was a particularly amusing carrot I found in the fridge one day. I couldn't stop laughing at this:

Right, so what's been happening in my life? **** all, that's what. It's crap here, don't even consider visiting. Cheerio!

*That originally read "PIssed aain". Told you I was.

Heresiarch Grimm
11th February 2012, 07:47 PM
Uh... Superglue and a clown makes a fun day out for the second picture. That or static electricity just can't seem to let go.

As for the carrot... Well... Was it good for you?

11th February 2012, 09:07 PM
The first one makes me think of Brewers Fayre pubs/restaurants. And it actually looks like his leg was amputated as it looks like there's just carpet for a few dozen pixels above his shoe. But my eyesight isn't amazing! I can't explain the second one. The third one... what.

11th February 2012, 09:30 PM
Yeah, the image quality is shit. But from what I could see through my own, true-colour compatible eyes (and not limited to whatever ****ing godawful 256-colour palette that image decided to stick itself to), what looks like carpet pixels above his foot were in fact his jeans. As for his feet being prosthetic... well it's possible, but certainly didn't look that way.

As for the second one, I was stunned by this. There I am, waiting around to meet someone, and THAT thing walks in and sits down. I was staring at it the whole time it remained sitting there, and all it did was fumble around with a bag and mumble a load of tongue-chewing nonsense.

And image #3? I still piss myself laughing when I see that photo. It's just surreal.

11th February 2012, 10:01 PM
I keep coming back to look at that carrot. What on earth? Can carrots even look like that?

11th February 2012, 10:44 PM
Well, yes, obviously. I wouldn't come home pissed, and sit in front of the fridge carving a carrot to look like a ****!

11th February 2012, 11:00 PM
I wouldn't put it past you...

11th February 2012, 11:09 PM
No, I'd just draw it all over someone's face or passport photo. Much more hilarity to be found in their reaction than there is in meticulously carving a cartoony 'member' from a carrot.

Finding a knob-shaped carrot in the fridge though resulted in me sitting on the floor laughing for several minutes.

13th February 2012, 06:24 PM

"We don't know where his mouth went. He wouldn't say."

Heresiarch Grimm
13th February 2012, 06:42 PM
How does he EAT? Or DRINK for that matter?

13th February 2012, 06:44 PM
Liquid diet through his nose is all I can think of. Or some sort of direct-to-stomach nonsense.

Heresiarch Grimm
13th February 2012, 06:59 PM
Makes sense. Bet he's great at Halloween costumes though.

13th February 2012, 07:02 PM
It's every other costume that he's shit at.

Heresiarch Grimm
13th February 2012, 07:06 PM
I dunno, he'd make a cracking visual representation of Jesus' rise from the dead. Technically.

13th February 2012, 07:14 PM
Nobody dresses up for Easter though.

13th February 2012, 09:51 PM
I've heard of him. He's a convict, I believe. Also, journals should generally only be used for their intended purpose, so please keep this in mind. Posting pictures is well and good for instant messaging outside of the forum, but not a journal which you use for documenting things (no matter how trivial) pertaining to your life.

Edit: I'll contradict myself, go off-topic, and post this I made just now, after seeing something on YouTube...


It's a small world...

5th March 2012, 10:49 AM

Pretty cool guy, eh posts gameplay & music mashups and doesnt afraid of anything

So anyway, I was out drinking again last night (oh don't look so surprised), and while I was sitting around waiting for my pint to magically appear at the table I was flicking through a newspaper/magazine that someone else had left behind. Usual old celebrity-shit and football nonsense throughout (it was a Sunday paper after all), and somewhere in the middle I saw that age-old source of comedy; the horoscope page.


****-all, that's what. As usual it was the incessant, tired old bollocks about whatever secret talent I have finally being useful (eh?) and finding love.

Oh come on.

Why are they always so pitifully generic? Why are they always the ****ing same? Who falls for this arch-wankery? If these pointless pieces of shit EVER meant anything I'd have over nine thousand loyal wives or some such crap and be in possession of near-limitless money or something.

As it stands, neither of those are strictly true. Or even remotely true, now that I think about it. ****ing horoscopes. STOP LYING TO ME, TELL ME WHERE MY SPARE KEYS ARE.

Or at least make a claim for my future that's roughly just as laughably ridiculous as the concept of rocks and fireballs in space controlling my destiny from several thousand million/billion miles away, please.

Oh, you did. Alright then.

And then I carried on drinking and saw some guy who appeared to be growing a second head on the back of his neck... it was disgusting to look at.

5th March 2012, 02:09 PM
It's simply really. A lot of people are morons.

Moronity = £££PROFIT£££

Just ask a Nigerian scammer. Oh, wait, they're morons too. Anyway, horoscopes are a legal scam, but it's still daylight robbery, especially since those phone services that are something like £1 a minute still exist. Speaking of scam phone calls, I was recently called by one of those "your computer is infected with a virus" tossers. Since I wasn't being charged I decided to waste about ten minutes of his time getting him to explain the nature of the virus, which supposedly sends information to their server and tells them my applications are hanging! I just played dumb for a while, trying not to laugh as he grasped at straws.

I then told him I was running a penguin computer which I forgot the name of. "Lion ucks?", I asked him. There was a moment of silence and he angrily replied, "My steps will not work for Linux or Apple." Apple? Some fraudster technician he was. I'm amazed that these jokers actually manage to scam loads of people each year.

5th March 2012, 02:32 PM
I guess all I can really say about anyone who believes in that shit and even calls the 'hotlines' is...

"bollocks to them".

They're too stupid to deserve their own money.

As for that "YUOR COMPTER HAS SPYWAER!!!" shite, I wish I could be bothered to call them up. Although I doubt I'd have the idea of wasting their time by pretending to be clueless about computers; I'd probably call them constantly and ask for a pizza or some other sort of takeaway delivery service.

10th March 2012, 05:05 PM
The last few days have managed to blur into one incoherent scrambled mass of events. The worst thing is that I hadn't even had a drink since Sunday (although I have begun my weekly "It Is Saturday So I Will Drink" task), so I can only put the cause down to the pathetic amount of sleep I have been getting lately.

Well, that and the stress, the cause of which I can't pinpoint (for the last week my temper has been more volatile than usual, my concentration is ****ed, and I have turned my phone off because I don't want to be bothered). It must be a mix of everything I suppose. Blah.

10th March 2012, 06:52 PM
Sounds pretty shit. How often you normally drink? A lot of that sounds a bit like withdrawal symptoms, especially if this is the biggest sober streak in a long time. Then again, what do I know? I drink a few times a year, sometimes only once or twice.

10th March 2012, 07:17 PM
I don't get blasted on a regular basis, I just have a few beers every now and then when nothing is happening of an evening, much in the same way someone would sit around smoking cigarettes or... whatever it is anyone else possibly does to 'unwind'. The only reason I haven't this week is because I haven't been sleeping properly, and the last thing I want is to wake up after 4-5 hours sleep while still feeling half-pissed. I'd probably forget what month it was if I did that.

14th March 2012, 01:22 PM
Received the strangest post today. It had my name on the envelope (and it looked important-ish, like the usual monthly Bank Statement), but then each and every time I was addressed within the letter itself it referred to 'me' as someone who I've never heard of before. They were also female.

Admittedly it was shitty junk mail from some company peddling some old crap, so this is less surprising that it would be to find a letter from someone who thinks I am my own sister (thankfully that hasn't happened yet), but I got a laugh out of it all the same.

While I'm here, I was linked to this on a message board:
Video Game Name Generator (http://videogamena.me/)

It's given me the following, amongst others:
Hitler's College Odyssey (somewhat eerie yet hilarious)
Soviet Beat Jihad (I wish)
Disturbing Nazi Interactive (Holocauster Tycoon?)
Transvestite Bible Starring Mickey Mouse (wat)
Insane STD in Africa (seriously!)
British Duck World (as long as that ****ing dog's not in there I don't mind)
Black Shopping Apocalypse (oh dear)
Narcoleptic Beat Commando (I lol'd)
Eco-Friendly Fun Noodle Police (almost sounds like Engrish)

I'm not making this up. These are some of the names it spat out at me!

14th March 2012, 02:14 PM
They? Was that meant to mean multiple females were mentioned in the letter? Also, those are some hilarious names if it is indeed a random generator. I'll have to give it a try myself.

Radioactive Furry Tale (run away!)
In Search of Shopping XXX (sounds like a Japanese reality pervert game)
God of Barcode Training (a training programme for chavs?)
Confusing Goth in the Dark (not enough escapism)
Mega Man's Porn at the Olympics (Capcom's response to Sonic and Mario's outing? Mega Man, you dog)
Michael Jackson's Dating Slam (oh, good god, no... think of the children!)
Intense Computer Kombat (pretty much Internet Forums: The Game)
Intense Batman Ignition ("I'm the... flaming Batman?! Fffuuuuu—")
Atomic Bong Incident (cannabis mushroom clouds)

This is pretty fun.

Heresiarch Grimm
14th March 2012, 04:03 PM
Turbo Weight Loss Explosion Fat people exploding themselves thin? Sweet

Drug-Induced Sandwich Hunter A day in the life of a stoner?

Violent Mind Control Beatdown Just wow.

Secret of the Math Jihad Three Explosives plus Five Zealots equals...

Perverted Nudist Resturant The sequel to Do You Like Bunnies, by chance?

Michael Jackson's Catholic Overlords That couldn't be any better.

Kamikaze Porn Showdown I don't even want to know.

And my personal favorite

Preschool Sniper - 3rd Strike

16th April 2012, 07:44 PM
Not really much of an update, just something that made me laugh; on a short trip down the road to buy something to eat, I saw some kids having a fight. I couldn't stop laughing to myself, because all I could think of was this image that I'd seen a few hours earlier:

17th April 2012, 12:53 AM
I must admit that did make me laugh. Seriously though, wow, what the... :S