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Lightfreed
3rd December 2016, 12:31 AM
Looking for a light,
Don't see any in sight,
Left over in sorrow,
Just waiting for tomorrow.
Yesterday's dreams flashing,
Trying to stop the self-bashing.
Looking up to the sky,
Hoping that someday I can fly.

I wonder where I put my outlaw star box set. I need to start watching it again or get the blue-ray set. I wish there was space travel anime stuff like outlaw star and tenchi muyo from the past. Maybe I've just lost touch with anime.

I've moved back to my parent's after health issues months prior but feel at lost as what to do now. Not really any job prospects and a small business I want to start just gets harder. I don't want to go back to any factory work or delivery service job but what can I do without a degree these days and even people with degrees are having it rough. Oh well. Just trying to keep myself from loosing it mentally and at least I have family around despite busy friends.

Mantis
3rd December 2016, 12:46 PM
I thought you were a freed light. Have you not found yourself? The Blu-ray isn't that expensive if you look hard enough, so I'd consider it.

What kind of small business do you have in mind? I do feel bad for you. I hope you'll be able to enjoy Christmas, and a more prosperous New Year. :beer:

malikj989
3rd December 2016, 02:36 PM
Looking for a light,
Don't see any in sight,
Left over in sorrow,
Just waiting for tomorrow.
Yesterday's dreams flashing,
Trying to stop the self-bashing.
Looking up to the sky,
Hoping that someday I can fly.

I wonder where I put my outlaw star box set. I need to start watching it again or get the blue-ray set. I wish there was space travel anime stuff like outlaw star and tenchi muyo from the past. Maybe I've just lost touch with anime.

I've moved back to my parent's after health issues months prior but feel at lost as what to do now. Not really any job prospects and a small business I want to start just gets harder. I don't want to go back to any factory work or delivery service job but what can I do without a degree these days and even people with degrees are having it rough. Oh well. Just trying to keep myself from loosing it mentally and at least I have family around despite busy friends.
Sorry for the losses but keep on going, you'll make it cause persistence breeds success.

Scarab
3rd December 2016, 04:18 PM
If you're looking for some good old fashioned 90s sci-fi anime, check out Cyber City Oedo. It's good stuff, we all need something to distract us from the often harsh world around us now and then.

https://68.media.tumblr.com/1f5cc0e260d773d3da5d25724f90e8dc/tumblr_oflctqgzfD1uqrdeoo1_540.gif

Don't give up man, it's never too late to find your wings-- it might just take longer than you expected.

Lightfreed
3rd December 2016, 05:54 PM
Thanks guys. I just started watching season 2 of knights of sidonia and this show called 3%, both on Netflix. Trying to keep some thoughts off of my current situation.

Anyway, I had some interesting dreams last night about watching movies and going to the beach and spending time with my friends like we all used to. Time keeps flying

Juneberry
3rd December 2016, 07:33 PM
Time certainly does fly- and so does my curiosity! Particularly of when you wrote that nifty poem. Was it written on a whim? Or was it an older one of yours? All I know is I love it. You're quite the poet! :D

I haven't stopped living with my father since I was a kid. Never moved out, mixed reasons. I won't push you to tell me about the health issues that came up, but I will push you to remember that we're here for you too. A lot of us here have at least some experience with health problems, but more importantly, we all care about each other. We're all friends too, aren't we? So don't forget, we can act as at least a small part of your mental safety net!

And to the last line of your poem: I still want to fly too. I put on my bucket list thingy to get a pilot's license someday. Though I'd rather fly on my own. My real last name? It's a bird. I grew up trying to jump off anything I could climb crying that I couldn't fly like my family yet. Blame family pointing at birds and saying they're relatives.

Lightfreed
4th December 2016, 02:59 AM
Thanks June. I'm glad to have found to community and just reading the posts like the one minute draw an outlaw brings me smiles. Yeah, the poem was just written on a whim. I've always wanted to become a singer one day since like grade school but I dunno. Maybe I can make my own song someday like how you want to get your pilot's license. I was just about to write another poem because a fortune cookie I just got says " it's at the worst of times that you need to summon your optimism."

I ate the chicken and I didn't care,
Not one single fuss to spare,
Drowned in sauce in an instance,
I see another piece in the distance.
Can't stop this deep fried joy,
Let the wings spread like I just got a brand new toy

Mantis
4th December 2016, 09:06 AM
Mmmm-hmmmm! :melhappy:

451

Lightfreed
18th December 2016, 02:36 AM
Lost in the branches of blown trees,
Afraid of the life that would come to be.
Unfamiliar thoughts eroding my existence,
Just wanting to have the courage to face the silence.
The feelings of emotions causing me to feel lonely,
Gone was the magic that brought glimpses of dreams to see.
One step two I take to the path of shadows,
Left behind the mistakes and dreams into forests where hope glows.


Been watching anime on Hulu and just trying to let the depression pass. I'm just lost in old dreams and feel like the world is moving so fast past me. Can't stop comparing myself to others advancing in life and looking at my failures. Lost interest in a lot of things along the way but hopefully I can get them back in the future. Just lost in hopelessness. ;P. At least a shot or two helps here and there. Just lost in my journey. How many times do I have to start over?

Lightfreed
29th June 2017, 05:08 AM
I have all these random businesses I want to start. So I filed to become an online bakery at home and deliver and it got approved finally! I'm waiting for the permit to come in he mail. Thing is, I can't bake for shit lmao. And it's hard when eggs and cream aren't allowed. (Cottage food operation regulations). So I went back and forth between vegan and vegetarian recipes. It's so hard to keep it vegan and gluten free. So I've decided to keep the menu with options to add shit as requested. Like extra for gluten free flour or plant-based butter. Replacing applesauce for eggs really changes things. I found a chocolate cookie recipe without eggs so I think I'll start with those first. I was messing with cupcake/Muffin recipes like crazy and it just pissed me off. I don't want to deal with frosting it anyway; it would mess up in transport and all that plastic used aka I'm secretly just lazy af.

Since we can't cook food at home that's "potentially hazardous" as by law (meat, eggs, shit I don't know of) for catering, (need to have it done in a commercial kitchen.. which costs a bucket of money starting out), I'm thinking of launching a personal chef brand for Filipino food, since my aunt wanted to cook food but the regulations curbed me from advertising online and stuff. As long as it's prepared in the client's home and the ingredients are purchased day of, I don't think there are any real regulations. Some chick got imprisoned or something for like, selling salsa on Facebook, wtf. Total bull.

For branching out into urban farming, I experimented with hydroponic jars and some stuff sprouted but it's getting pretty hot and they're almost dead lolol. With the kratky system, we don't need to water the plants, since the roots are supposed to extend down into the nutrient water but I dunno. I planted chia, flax, and random peppers but only the chia sprouted. Lol. Maybe if I watered them instead? More experimentation is needed. My poor babies. Maybe I can put them in containers and add a fair amount of cinnamon into the coco coir soil and the top layer to prevent gnats and shit and water them daily, instead of doing hydroponics. Someday I would love to do aeroponics but I'm broke as shit. Problem with urban farming is that there are no zoning permits required for it so I hope my uptight-ass city doesn't say shit if I grow microgreens and gourmet mushrooms and garlic. Working on the microgreens first.

In more food related stuff, i got free wine bottles from people in Craigslist in the "free" section I was hounding for days out of boredom. Still sitting there supposedly for the mead, wine, and fermented hot sauce I haven't started making yet.

In relation to cannabis, I want to eventually, somehow, make "fresh" (I guess baked) edibles that incorporate edible ingredients (like pre made infused chocolate sauce). I don't wanna grow mj. From what I've seen, it's like taking care of a baby. I'm too lazy for that. I found the permits and sent emails but need to make calls. XD. I havent done anything marijuana related since like last fall. The few people that I knew that did it don't smoke anymore. I want my products to focus on low doses and for me not worry about getting robbed like a full service dispensary. I'd like to do alcohol infused baked goods as well. (None crossing the two though lolol). Like maybe wine infused baked donuts.

In manufacturing, I got a sewing machine and stared at fabrics at this one store. I guess if I tried to stitch something random on fabric, I'd get more comfortable. I thought about making socks with ties on them but haven't made a sock yet lol. I saw some YouTube videos weeks ago about measuring the foot, cutting a pattern, and stitching it together to make the sock; compared to the intricate manufacturing machines used at large companies. So many things are automated, it's astonishing.

I wish I was more mentally fit to experiment more, make more mistakes, and get out there. I keep thinking of past mistakes too much and it prevents me from starting things fresh. It's like a giant lag with memory baggage of the past. I wish I could recall more happier memories. I don't know why my mind is selective and likes bringing up past embarrassments rather than past pleasures and achievements. I guess it's just hard for the brain to recall the baby steps.

On a health note, I feel like shit right now. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the detox from oil pulling and introducing ginger capsules into my diet. Maybe it's the half a watermelon I ate today. All I know is, I want another buffet. My aunt treated me to one and I rather enjoyed the sushi and fresh fruit. It's really something in life to be able to not have to labor over purchasing the right amount ingredients to cook and prevent waste, actually prep and cook, and clean up your mess. On top of having a variety compared to cooking a big batch of food every week and getting sick of it, only to end up starving yourself or ordering takeout the next week after getting sick of the same stuff. If only my life were more privileged. Nothing says privileged more than having the computer spell check my words on a wireless device, unlimited internet, air conditioning, not worrying about hot water for your next shower like when the water heater/boiler breaks after 17 years of service the week when you want to start baking for that business you wanted to start. Good thing I live with a parental unit until I become rich and fly to a different region on a monthly basis. If only airlines had monthly subscriptions. I'd pay just to be in the air and to land after a 30minute departure because it's so damn liberating and wonderfully exhilarating to acknowledge that you've dodged death and saw the blue sky filled with the same sun that existed the time your parents had sex, the time when you checked out your grade school teacher, or that other time you discovered that white fluid coming out of your wobbling stick flesh was normal and actually rather pleasurful. Yeah, I made up the word pleasurful.

Lightfreed
3rd July 2017, 05:05 AM
Today..
-15minute read @ graveyard
-13minite run/walk around the neighborhood
-shower with this cool soap I'm trying for my eczema with neem oil
-tried this new pho place
-opened a bunch of old mail and shredded stuff
-checked on some planted seeds in a container. One container molded. The other one with seeds and coffee filters survived. Planted a new batch to check
-registered for the square POS to start the online bakery
-read for like 20minutes by the river
-went to Target/the red big box store w/ mom
-gonna watch episode 11 of outlaw star with the space race while working with a makeshift weighted backpack to workout.

I wish I was skinny. :'(. I look older than my age. XP.

Mantis
4th July 2017, 03:03 AM
Ah, sorry to hear about the eczema! I had that as a young boy, what a pain. :@ That sounds like quite the eventful day! Interesting how you travel a little to find an ideal reading spot.

Online bakery, eh? Those food restrictions are ridiculous. Maybe you'd be better off going local? Urban farming and sewing... you were certainly right about random businesses. :D Still, sounds like you're giving it your all and I wish you the best with your ventures. So what's the law on marijuana there?

Lightfreed
4th July 2017, 05:55 AM
Ah, sorry to hear about the eczema! I had that as a young boy, what a pain. :@ That sounds like quite the eventful day! Interesting how you travel a little to find an ideal reading spot.

Online bakery, eh? Those food restrictions are ridiculous. Maybe you'd be better off going local? Urban farming and sewing... you were certainly right about random businesses. :D Still, sounds like you're giving it your all and I wish you the best with your ventures. So what's the law on marijuana there?

Thanks Mantis! Well for marijuana for medical use with a med card we can grow our own but for certain cities, they may have deliver services blocked but legal to use. As for manufacturing, it's up to the city to approve it too I think and there are new permits for recreational use and farming/producing with marijuana effective 2018. I would probably need 1000USD to file for the manufacturing permit, then extra for getting a commercial kitchen, city license + inspection, then insurance. Right now it's just in the dream stage till I get the funds, haha.

Lightfreed
4th July 2017, 06:14 AM
Hellos. So today I didn't feel productive lol. Yeah, I've been unemployed since forever last year when I got sick but at least I'm not depressed. (Gotta find a way to keep that up for winter to prevent winter blues and other happenings. Maybe buy some weatherproof clothes to run in the rain). Living with family, I don't feel as independent and I would like my own place someday but I don't want to live alone :(. Too lonely. Maybe if I bought a house someday, to house some homeless people, couchsurfers, and international students to keep it lively.

Today I..
-Read at the cemetery again
-neighborhood run/walk
-Applied to KFC online (yesterday was mcdonald's)
-lounged around the house
-checked to see if the flax and chia are sprouting and water them a little
-got some tools at the 99cents store to fix the laser printer
-got some spray on-sunblock and some mushrooms at Grocery Outlet. Gonna try to induce mycelium production to experiment with growing mushrooms. Need to call local coffee shops to see if they have free uses coffee grinds available
-watched episode 12 of outlaw star while working out with squats and some chest/arms. Luckily Aisha didn't get blown up by the macdougall brothers while scouting on that asteroid.

Maybe tomorrow I can put more energy towards cleaning/organizing, baking trial bread/cake for the bakery. (Apple cinnamon with chocolate filling in the middle and maybe gluten free bread?).

I'm hungry with the calorie restriction :'(. Maybe I'll just eat more salad. XD

Lightfreed
5th July 2017, 08:47 AM
Well, for 4th of July..

-graveyard reading
-morning jog
-applied to mountain mikes for pizza delivery
-ate at Olive Garden with mom and went shopping around
-tried to fix the laser printer but failed so, I'll save up someday for a new drum I guess
-outlaw star episode 14 and light exercise was good to get out the frustration. I wonder where that cactus alien came from. Anyway, I wish I was asleep though. But, I'm trying to make more routines in life and ending the day with tv and exercise seems fulfilling

Lightfreed
12th July 2017, 07:47 AM
"I gotta leave things in God's hands. What a hand job!" Gene
Lolol.
Well, towards the end of the box set. It's been going good. Gonna have my own solo enterprise too; like starwind & hawking.

Through the wind blazing fast,
Don't know how long I can last.
Where will I end up next,
Not wanting to bluff too hard the next bet.
Forcing the way forward to bring the new me,
Off to to bring new sights to see.

-got new apps to run the online bakery
-finalized the first product
-relaxed for like two minutes in the car by the river

Hoping to launch the service Thursday through Sunday but, yelp and google business aren't letting me add the business to the directories without verifying the address by postcard. Thing is, it's where I live until I make money and get an office. The local virtual office is out of budget so, I found out you can hide the address after verifying. I just want my hours to be available for orders. Gotta figure out an appointment system for customized orders. Pricing is a challenge too.

Mantis
13th July 2017, 01:27 PM
Those "next time" sequences are legendary. :D Damn, your bakery plans are making me a little hungry. It's a shame you wouldn't be able to deliver internationally, eh? I wish I knew more about this kind of thing. I have a friend who makes her own pet accessories and sends them across the country. She became quite successful, actually. What kind of web software are you using to sell the products? Maybe she used Wix, can't remember...

Lightfreed
14th July 2017, 09:24 PM
Those "next time" sequences are legendary. :D Damn, your bakery plans are making me a little hungry. It's a shame you wouldn't be able to deliver internationally, eh? I wish I knew more about this kind of thing. I have a friend who makes her own pet accessories and sends them across the country. She became quite successful, actually. What kind of web software are you using to sell the products? Maybe she used Wix, can't remember...

Hiya!
Well, there are quite a few online shopping sites. In these parts, the big ecommerce builders I know of are Shopify and squarespace which use also contract with the payment swiper company Stripe. You can find various articles comparing the two in a search. I think the premade templates for squarespace as a website are just prettier for branding. Both automatically format the websites for mobile viewing.

In relation to delivery or storefront payment, the various payment swipers that aren't a part of those sides that you can just take orders for delivery are squareup (also known as square), PayPal, and others. You can also contract directly with the company Stripe which takes a lot of global payments but I think their business model is to provide payments services for online ecommerce suites, so there are various pricing structures.

My goal is to actually just build up the brand and contract products and services like every other big brand does xD. Just package it up all nice and provide good service and a curated selection. Would be nice to just focus on making the brand pretty, customer retention and on R&D. It would be cool to be international. Maybe in a year LOL. I want my footprint everywhere. Gives me an excuse to travel for the excuse of quality control.

Lightfreed
26th July 2017, 04:28 AM
I didn't know that it can take some time for ads to get approved. YouTube was rather quick. Facebook is stuck in pending after a couple of days. Groupon called this morning but I left a message later in the afternoon but they didn't answer. Guess I'll call again tomorrow and just check out my account right now. -.-; at least my YouTube vid is getting views. (Groupon makes takes a giant cut. Best as a way to advertise. Maybe I can get some Yelp reviews). Yesterday was like 35 views and today is 50. Not bad for an average daily budget of a $1.

In other news I have a meat packing job. I feel gross everyday. When I eat meat I think about work. Just need to save money to try out this one franchise. I'm a little hesitant because I've never actually gone this far in starting my own businesses, where I've launched it enough for a digital presence and have the legal paperwork done.

Waiting for some physical ads to come in the mail. But I feel sad that there are no customers yet. I wish I had more dough to expand my digital marketing campaign but I guess I gotta do what I can without getting burnt out. Gotta cast some magic on this. Paguasanfa paguasanfa. (How is it spelled)?

Lightfreed
10th August 2017, 01:28 AM
I need more magic to happen. I dislike how things take longer and cost more than originally planned. XD.

Starwind55
10th August 2017, 06:41 AM
Damn, the meat packing thing has to suck. I can only imagine the stench. I used to work in a buffet and when they changed the chicken racks, it smelled horrendous. Someone almost vomited because of it.

I wouldn't feel so bad about a lack of customers. No one gets a huge customer base right of the gate. You just got to make sure your services are up to snuff and keep getting the word out. If you play your cards right, I'm sure you'll get a respectable amount of customers...of course, I never ran a business so take that what you will.

Lightfreed
7th December 2017, 06:12 PM
Woah. I haven't been here for a while. :) Can't wait to see what's been happening. Been trying to get more organized and found a workout program on youtube I liked so I'll be submitting my $1 patreon once my password gets reset. Watched an episode of the second disc in my box set the other day where Suzuka was introduced. I remember some old post about there being some ranting reviewer how they complained that she's supposed to be an ultra assassin and somehow Gene survives lololol. Anyways, see everyone out in space.

Lightfreed
16th March 2018, 02:57 AM
Not feeling so great. There's a class I'm doing and I don't want to do any of the work. The stuff is so new/foreign to me, it's discouraging. But, I want to get into a better job and have an actual social life. Maybe I'll pop in an outlaw star dvd to push things along with assignments.

Mantis
16th March 2018, 03:19 AM
Nothin' like a bit of Gene to raise your spirits! It's a bit of a double-edges sword. He's motivational and says some great things, but he's also a lazy bastard who's hardly a role model for beating procrastination. What kinds of assignments are you working on?