• Personal Accountabililty
  • Personal Accountabililty

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  1. #1
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    Personal Accountabililty

    Are you quick to admit your mistakes? Do you take responsibility for your actions?

    It's not always easy to do, but it's an important part of life. It seems as if many people look for someone to blame for their issues, problems, even their own faults and mistakes. How convenient it would be to blame everything on someone else. It just isn't realistic.

    When you admit a mistake or wrongdoing, do you try to make it right?

  2. Like Mantis, Gad liked this post
  3. #2
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    I'd like to think that yes, I do. A lot of people try to find any excuse for something they've done wrong. Some even go beyond a justification by trying to turn it into a good thing like the fat acceptance movement, even though there's nothing good about obesity. It's just a convenient way to avoid blame as in the very vast majority of cases the person had the choice.

    In some ways I've been dealt a shitty hand. For example, for a few years after I got epilepsy I sometimes thought, "why me?". Because of my regular hospitalisation and missing classes and assignments I had to drop out of university—twice. I was encouraged by a girlfriend for the second attempt, but despite counselling and all kinds of additional pills it became so difficult I just couldn't go on. Although I got next to nothing from the experience and the UK uses a loan system (meaning I have a LOT to pay them in the future and they keep adding interest) I never really blamed anything. It was a waste of time and money but my girlfriend had my best interests at heart when I went the second time. Yet I don't think it was my fault either because of the circumstances. I just considered it a loss and moved on.

    Most things are preventable. Even if I continue to screw some things up (after all, old habits die hard) I realise that the majority of the time the ball is in my court. Trying to blame bad behaviours on other people or society (or god knows what else)—or worse yet pretending they're a good thing—is a terrible thing to do. It's like covering your ears and shouting "la, la, la!" when people are trying to give you genuine heartfelt advice. This reminds me of a girl many years ago who liked me, but she also had a lot of issues. What really turned me off was how she tried to talk to me about these and asked for help, but then when I tried to help she completely ignored my advice or retaliated, got angry and made all sorts of excuses. She was a lost cause and soon after I stopped talking to her.

    I think every human is guilty of shifting the blame every now and then. Nobody's perfect. I know when I've done things wrong and usually I don't act immediately, though I would apologise if necessary unless the person has a very hostile vibe. I believe that an accountability partner is great for beating problems like smoking or weight gain. This requires a lot of confidence and trust though since there's no guarantee the other person will stick to the plan.

  4. #3
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    jimhawking
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    I try my best to be responsible for my actions. This is especially true at my job. If I screw up I make sure to let my boss know since I think it's better to be up front with what I did than to just try to sweep it under the rug and hope that he doesn't notice. My boss typically necessary but I do just because, I don't know, I guess because I want to be responsible for the things that I do.

    I wont lie, it's hard to admit my faults sometimes. Nobody likes to take the blame but I learned that if you blame everyone but yourself than folks tend to frown on you. I'm not perfect when it comes to this but I at least want folks to see that I have at least some sense of honor.

  5. Agree Gamesha agreed with this post
  6. #4
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    Wow, @Mantis, that's a lot to deal with. I have some "limitations" due to injury multiplied by illness, so I can somewhat relate to the challenges. I've done the "why me?" thing as well. I was told that when I ask "why me?" it's the same as asking, "why not someone else?" Ugh, I never thought of it like that, but since I don't wish such issues on anyone else, I had to stop asking that.

    I know people who always seek advice but never follow it too. They are the ones that usually find someone or something else to blame for everything.

    Having a buddy system can be a good idea, if both stick to it and both benefit from it. Great post.

    @Starwind55, it's true that nobody is perfect. I think personal accountability is a good goal to strive even if we never get there 100%. I try, but it's tough sometimes to admit when we're wrong, to truly admit it without excuses. I want to be an honorable person as well.

    I guess my point is more in reference to those who don't even seem to try. I don't know how they go through life like that. Everyone makes mistakes, but learning from them is how we grow.

  7. Agree Mantis agreed with this post
  8. #5
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    Well I wasn't that good before, I mean I really love to blame someone else for the mistakes that I have done. But I learned that it would make you feel better if you would admit what you did wrong. My wife and I have fights sometimes, if these fights occurred 4 years ago, we would have seen plates and bottles flying around the house. But now, I admit it if I made something wrong, but I would wait for a few minutes before doing that since my wife wouldn't talk to me if she is still mad.

  9. #6
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    I always try and take full responsibility for my actions. One thing that I have learnt over time is that trying to justify yourself especially when you are in the wrong makes the situation worse. My step one when I have done something wrong is always to deeply apologise. I seek forgiveness of the offended parties then later I can try and explain myself out. This applies even when writing an apology letter. I believe that by being accountable for your actions shows the level of maturity in you. It shows that you are willing to own any action you undertake, whether good or bad and if it's bad you will be willing to correct it.

    I have had several instances where I had to face my parents and teachers for the mistakes I did. Owning up the wrongs always set me free. The thing is, there is no grey area in doing things. It's either you messed up or you did things right. Justifying oneself is not an option whatsoever.

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