• In which brave people confess their epic failures
  • In which brave people confess their epic failures

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 31 to 37 of 37
  1. #31
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Last Seen
    Today 07:40 PM
    Posts
    1,306
    Wong
    1,766

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    I lol'd. I think I'd die if that happened to me.

    This next one is not quite an 'epic failure' in the sense that I ****ed something up and felt immensely embarrassed, but I very nearly managed to melt my face once. A place I was staying at had one of those ancient gas ovens with the grill up top, and the ignition on this abominable contraption from a time long before my own was broken; it refused to produce sparks to ignite the gas, meaning I had to piss around with matches.

    Well anyway, there I am unable to find the toaster, and all I have to eat (without setting up some sort of shit cookery show) is a frozen loaf of bread. Only way to defrost this within a reasonable time (read as: without forgetting about it and turning it into economy charcoal while I sit around laughing at the TV) is to grill it, so I turn the gas on... and get distracted by a DVD I have been watching.

    "I like this particular scene, so I'll go to watch it. Only 30 or so seconds."

    ...back into the kitchen. Strike a match. Move it close to the grill... and then I realised what I was doing.

    OH SHIT! GET DOWN!

    FWOOSH!

    I could really feel the heat above me, and the hair on my right hand was considerably singed* despite my efforts to pull it down and away. I can only imagine what my head would have looked like if I was still standing up when all the gas burst into flames.

    Still, the bread was defrosted, and lunch was served. But no butter. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-


    *Not so much singed as burnt to several small crispy remnants. Burnt hair smells horrible.
    "It turned out that the ghost was just Mr. Finley, who ran the amusement park. The spooky part is that, as soon as the ghost appeared, the teenagers' dog began to speak! And it spoke in a tortured parody of human speech: 'relp me, Raggy,' it would say. 'I am an abomination and rould re rilled. Rill re, Raggy.'"

  2. #32
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Last Seen
    12th August 2018 01:15 AM
    Age
    27
    Posts
    1,281
    Personality
    genestarwind
    Wong
    539

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    Holy crap, that's a close call XD

    I have a somewhat fire related story as well:

    When I was about 9 years old there was an older kid that lived up the street from me. I hung out with him every once in a while and during one of my visits he was in the process of making a potato gun. So far he had the barrel and ignition set up. Though both weren't attached yet. The ignition was a half foot pvc that was closed on one end. Inside was a piece of metal and flint that had a dial that turned it on the outside. Twisting this dial really fast produced a spark. Well I wanted to try it out and see this spark so I grabbed it looked really close and gave it a twist.
    PAUSED
    At this moment in time I had no idea that he already had spayed the hell out of the inside with a flammable hair spray nor did it don on me that this pipe smelled pretty nice....
    UN-PAUSED
    A loud poof and blast of what felt like hot air hit my face I threw the pipe down and immediately wiped my hand across my now burning face and with it came a pretty fair chunk of my eyebrows...
    "(21:31:30) Kokirininja: will she notice the globs of glue....?
    (21:31:56) TheMachetejoe: Nope! I'm as stealthy as a mouse...on bear adrenaline."
    "(18:42:32) Hannah: I like to giggle when I sit in chairs."
    "(19:46:20) lloydSSJ4: I was contemplating my similarities with Fred Luo, while making a sandwhich."
    Referring to Spammers
    (23:27:52) Mantis: I'm thinking of banning the whole of the Philippines from the site.
    (23:27:56) Mantis: The whole bloody country.
    (23:28:05) Mantis: Because that's where most of the parasites come from.

  3. #33
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Last Seen
    8th August 2012 02:03 PM
    Posts
    551
    Wong
    101

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    I had an accident with a trampoline before.

    Was jumping on it quite happily, doing flips 'n' **** when my right leg gave in under me after I landed. This propelled me forwards into the side of a house.

    This house, has a pebbledashed wall (A wall that has stones plastered to the side of it). My face hit that wall hard and slid down it onto concrete.

    Needless to say I needed to go hospital since I managed to go "Down to the bone" on my chin from the impact and sliding. I couldn't eat properly for about two or three weeks thanks to a combination of scars, scabs and parafin.
    Fighting through Aliens, Robots, Insane sick people, demons, plants, dragons, fish, squids, jellyfish and more for the good of the forum!


    When I play a game, I usually want to see lethal amounts of death and destructive amounts of ruination.

  4. #34
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Seen
    Today 05:42 PM
    Location
    Manchester, UK
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,055
    Personality
    genestarwind
    Wong
    10,015,938

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    Haha, wow Baron. I guess if your face really was melted it would be a legit reason to live wearing that gas mask. Quite symbolic, I guess. How much hair do you have on your hands exactly? Most adult guys just have a small patch towards the outwards side of the hands, and small amounts of hair elsewhere, but I can't imagine the smell of burnt hair being that bad unless you're a yeti.

    Kokiri, damn, what an ass that neighbour was. I bet your mum gave him a real mouthful. Holy crap, Grimm. That's a terrible failure, in terms of the ouch factor. Though not a failure of my own, I remember when I was playing manhunt (I'm sure I mentioned playing this elsewhere) in my early teens, which to the US guys is a variation of tag.

    Anyway, I was being chased by a friend and it was rather muddy. He followed me down a hill and ended up sliding towards something of a broken tree. It was split and very sharp, pointy tree bark, which impaled his leg quite deep. In a lot of pain he managed to pull his leg out, and you could see fairly deep inside of the hole and a lot of the gunk from inside his leg was hanging out. It was really nasty to see at that age, although thanks to the internet I've seen much, much worse things.

    I had to support him and take him back to my house, then call 999. I guess it was a slight failure on my part since if I hadn't taken that path, he'd have been fine, but it's not really my fault. The general rule of thumb of manhunt is "get the hell away from any hunter who spots you, by any means necessary".
    Gene: "Have faith in me guys, enjoy the ride—you're in good hands. I can handle this. I can do it!"
    Jim: "How do you know?"
    Gene: "I don't!"
    Jim: "I knew it."
    Gene: "That's okay. There's a first time for everything!"

    Anime and Steam info

    Anime-Planet.com - anime | manga | reviews



  5. #35
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Last Seen
    Today 07:40 PM
    Posts
    1,306
    Wong
    1,766

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    My hands aren't quite 'Yeti Mitts', but they've probably got more hair than average. On the outward side of both hands it nearly extends up to my little finger.

    LOW BUDGET BEAST-MAN.

    But it went up in smoke on that day (nearly down to the wrist, how tragic), and my fingernails were somewhat cooked too (the ends looked a bit 'melted'). Sounds ridiculous, and I laugh about it now (I laughed about it then, such was the stupidity of the way it all unfolded/exploded), but it's not something I recommend doing.

    If I had been standing up, I most likely would have found myself wearing a mask after, for a while at least. I can't help but think that my eyelids would probably have been welded shut by it all too, although that's probably just me assuming the 'worst case scenario' as usual. But never mind that; what about my goddamn hair? I'd have had to shave my ****ing head!

    Oh the vanity.

    Now before anyone asks (not that I am expecting anyone to), yes it has all grown back, and no my fingernails don't look like lumps of melted plastic to this day.

    Now, onto your 'Manhunt' story, and to be fair, that's not your failure. Now if it was your leg that got spiked while trying to get away...

    Still, yeesh. Not something I'd want any part in. I was semi-responsible for a friend breaking his wrist once; during a game of tag in a park he tried getting away by climbing on a swing frame, and... well, he fell to the ground while pointing and laughing at me. Sort of a fail/justice combo there, really.

    Wait, what am I saying? That's his own bastard fault.
    "It turned out that the ghost was just Mr. Finley, who ran the amusement park. The spooky part is that, as soon as the ghost appeared, the teenagers' dog began to speak! And it spoke in a tortured parody of human speech: 'relp me, Raggy,' it would say. 'I am an abomination and rould re rilled. Rill re, Raggy.'"

  6. #36
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Seen
    4th March 2014 01:38 AM
    Age
    24
    Posts
    368
    Wong
    586

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    Oh! Oh! :3

    Gather 'round! Gather 'round! ( Sets a small camp-fire in the middle of the thread. )

    Well, during my younger years of the 8th grade, my mom bought me a large box of hot-pockets ( If you don't know what they are, but you probably do, they're like a roll-thing with pizza-stuff in them. ) and I was feeling preety hungry. My stomach growled as I searched the refridgerator, looking for something to nibble on. I found the hot-pockets and threw one in the microwave for four minutes...WORST IDEA EVER! ><''

    ''BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!'' The microwave screamed at me. I didn't know how stupid I could be until that very day.. I bit into it and the instant I did so, molten cheese and meat melted a piece of my bottom lip ( LITERALLY. ) and for the next week I had to answer everyone's stupid questons..Ggrrrrrr...=_=''

    ''What happend to your lip?'' I melted a piece off..=_=''
    ''What happend there? ( awkward point.) '' I lost it in 'NAM! >=3
    ''What happend to your face?'' THE HOT-POCKETS F'N GOT ME! RuN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
    Etc..

    Everything's fine now! XD I don't have a scar or anything! :3 ( Triumphantly stands in the kitchen, like a boss..) Take that, HotPocket...8)
    ''All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.''



  7. #37
    ProfileAchievementsGamer StatsInventoryLikes List
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Last Seen
    6th June 2012 01:44 AM
    Posts
    85
    Wong
    101

    RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures

    I have overheated hot pockets before myself but fortunately not to the point where they burnt my lip.

    As for my contribution, there was a sidewalk of wet cement once and a thin wooden board to walk across to avoid the cement. Well somehow I got distracted and instead of walking on the blank, stuck my foot into the cement lol.

    Not sure how it happened as I don't remember too well since I was a kid but yeah, the construction guy near by probably wasn't too happy although it was just a small patch so maybe it was a quick fix.

Similar Threads

  1. Your Biggest Failures (And Maybe Successes, Too?)
    By Juneberry in forum Clyde's Bar
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 8th September 2017, 07:49 AM
  2. What is the most epic thing you have done?
    By TheMachetejoe in forum Clyde's Bar
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 11th June 2015, 07:29 PM
  3. Epic fight scenes!
    By Dr. Killjoy in forum The Ctarl-Ctarl Empire
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 25th May 2012, 10:34 PM
  4. Epic Win
    By Mantis in forum Film and TV (Archive)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 20th September 2011, 04:08 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •