RE: In which brave people confess their epic failures
Well back in the so-called real world (away from computers, that is), I was on my way to a friend's house for a weekend of stupidity and found myself at a busy-ish road. Now you can probably already guess what happened ("the stupidity started early!", I hear you all shout), but I'll go into the details anyway:
Average traffic in both directions. Then the far side is clear, save for one vehicle in the distance. The near side clears too, and I attempt to make a mad dash for the other side. This didn't quite go as planned however, because the 'vehicle in the distance' is now considerably closer than it was those few seconds beforehand. The next thing I know is that said vehicle has hit the brakes, is screeching toward me, and that for some inexplicable reason I've stupidly decided to stop in the road and watch the vehicle come at me.
It hit me.
I was obviously ok (else I probably wouldn't be here now and/or making such a weirdly humourous story of it), apart from the fact I was thrown back a good few feet and landed on my face. I spent the next few days with a head that looked akin to a half-mashed potato.
(This was the second time I'd been hit by a car. The first time was on the way to school, and I was actually somewhat grateful for that one; I missed the rest of the week and avoided some really shitty homework assignments.)
"It turned out that the ghost was just Mr. Finley, who ran the amusement park. The spooky part is that, as soon as the ghost appeared, the teenagers' dog began to speak! And it spoke in a tortured parody of human speech: 'relp me, Raggy,' it would say. 'I am an abomination and rould re rilled. Rill re, Raggy.'"