• What qualities do you find attractive?
  • What qualities do you find attractive?

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  1. #1
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    Disregard this

    Last edited by Scarab; 26th August 2016 at 11:55 AM. Reason: This was a terrible idea

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    Why is it a terrible idea? It's a curious thought. We're all different after all.

    For me, the most notable quality that attracts me is...honesty. It might be the whole "I have enough trust and abandonment issues that I'm classified with a personality disorder" thing, but I find someone who can admit things honestly amazing. The more honest you are in general, the more I trust you. If you can be honest with me, be it about my own faults, your faults, or good things you might be nervous I'll judge you about for some reason...If you're able to be honest with me, I will honestly like you more in general.

    But yeah. Heavily honest/trustworthy people are the best and hottest thing ever to me.
    "I don't know what words I can say
    The wind has a way to talk to me
    Flowers sleep, a silent lullaby
    I pray for reply
    I'm ready"
    -Melfina's Song

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    Sometimes (quite often, actually) I'll suddenly get an idea that seems good at the time... but later on when it's already too late, it stops seeming like a good idea. Do you ever get that? I guess it's just insecurity... It's so frustrating to deal with, especially because I am quite impulsive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hari View Post
    Sometimes (quite often, actually) I'll suddenly get an idea that seems good at the time... but later on when it's already too late, it stops seeming like a good idea. Do you ever get that? I guess it's just insecurity... It's so frustrating to deal with, especially because I am quite impulsive.
    As a writer/artist, I know this feeling well. There's even a saying for it! "We are all our own worst critics." But I'm both impulsive and easily intimidated...so I think your ability to follow through is admirable. Teach me.

    Also you forgot to answer your own question.
    "I don't know what words I can say
    The wind has a way to talk to me
    Flowers sleep, a silent lullaby
    I pray for reply
    I'm ready"
    -Melfina's Song

  7. #5
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    I don't know really, if someone's willing to give me the time of day that's awesome enough.

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    Read your post this morning before you removed it XD, but will contribute now. Also just balls out go for things, no regrets!

    Like most things I am pretty easy going.

    Physically:
    I have no real preference. But in recent years I have found an allure to androgyny and gender ambiguity. Most famous person i can think of as an example would be Tilda Swinton, don’t know a famous male counterpart of the top of my head.

    (Google Tilda Swinton or Androgynous here)

    Younger me had a bit of a preference for the goth/emo/punk girls. First major relationship was with this chick that tramped around in these huge ass boots with spikes on them. Another fun relationship was with this goth girl who was really short (her height came upto just above my waist).

    Personality:
    Generally someone who doesn’t take themselves or life too seriously and likes to engage in intellectual debates. Having common interests is usually a big plus because it increases the amount of time spent on activities you both enjoy and decreases a lot of day to day conflict.

    Only major issue I can have with someone is if they are an extrovert, being more of an introvert myself I find it extremely draining to spend a large amount of time alone with an extrovert.
    Example of this would be a guy I know, nicest guy in the world, love him to pieces but can only spend a single bout of 24 hours with him before i feel exhausted.

    Current partner has literally nothing in common with me, she doesn’t play games or enjoy anime, fantasy or scifi at all. She doesn’t even like to engage in intellectual discussions or bouts of free-thinking.
    But she keeps me grounded i guess and in-touch with the mundane. We get on in a weird way.

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    This has ended up quite long, contrary to what I said about not talking too much...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hari View Post
    "Abandon Thread"
    I've done this kind of thing before actually. I've thought things like, "Shit, was that a bit too much and will they think I'm some kind of weirdo because of it?" But really, you don't need to worry. I've seen internet discussions of all kinds and this certainly falls under the "good and appropriate discussion" category. (To be fair I just pulled that out of my arse.) Just speak your mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by Juneberry View Post
    Why is it a terrible idea? It's a curious thought. We're all different after all.

    For me, the most notable quality that attracts me is...honesty. It might be the whole "I have enough trust and abandonment issues that I'm classified with a personality disorder" thing, but I find someone who can admit things honestly amazing.
    For the most part I agree with this. But sometimes I've come across people on the internet who want to tell me about their life story. I used to think there was nothing wrong with this, but I want to take my friendship with somebody one step at a time. I don't want to hear about all of the negatives immediately. From experience telling others the negatives in my own life I know it can be a lot to process, and people often don't realise this when they tell somebody everything at once. Worse yet if they try to flaunt these things, for some weird edgy reason.

    So some time back I stopped telling most people about the more serious troubles I face. Why? Because on the internet I'm an entity constructed from ones and zeroes. Nobody needs to know about every aspect of my life and nothing really changes if I discuss very personal things, though I'd be fine discussing things that pertain to daily living. Heh, it makes me think of a woman who practically lives next door to me, and the situation's far worse because this is real life.

    She doesn't look attractive at all and she's middle-aged, but even if I was single and she was attractive and my age I wouldn't want to talk to her. We only talk when we bump into one another, but literally almost every single time we do, she talks about her health problems and visiting the NHS. What I want to say is, "I get it, I'm sorry you're suffering from particular things Sarah, but for goodness' sake, don't you realise how grating it is when you say the same shit every time we talk?", but I know if I did she'd probably cry or something. Okay, so that's something I find very unattractive so fortunately I haven't veered off-topic!

    Quote Originally Posted by musenko View Post
    Current partner has literally nothing in common with me, she doesn’t play games or enjoy anime, fantasy or scifi at all. She doesn’t even like to engage in intellectual discussions or bouts of free-thinking.
    But she keeps me grounded i guess and in-touch with the mundane. We get on in a weird way.
    It's worse when you find out the only reason a lady hooked up with you was for a shag. But your kind of relationship isn't quite so bad when your partner is completely fine with giving you your alone time. That's something I find attractive.

    ...As for other things I find attractive (back to the main point now), definitely sharing similar interests is one of them. Though I've been with women who haven't, I've experienced the difference and enjoying things you both like is awesome. I'd love to binge-watch a TV series with somebody and kick each other's asses at a game, but also simply being like-minded in preferences of places to travel to or other activities is important. Also, I know how some people hate it when this medical term is used so colloquially, but I hate it when women are extremely OCD about dust or keeping things very tidy. There comes a point when I realise, "Okay, I've gotta tidy this place up", but Christ, learn to relax and stop stressing about everything.

    That brings me onto how I find those who can just have a fun time and not get very grumpy more attractive. (Admittedly, things can make me grumpy like my batteries being drained when in crowds for a long time, but with just a couple of people I'm okay.) As above, honesty is a great thing within reason. Trust is good, but sometimes it can be dangerous when at such a high level that you want validation that a partner trusts you just as much, which is a little ironic. I've had e-mails read before, and I'll put my hands up and say I did the same thing ten years ago. While my hunch was right and I found out the girlfriend was seeing somebody else, I was immature and I wouldn't do something so pathetic again. Don't concern yourself with trust so much and you'll probably trust each other more.

    As for looks... ehhh, no real preference. I've been with a white, a black, a yellow—doesn't bother me. Oh, one more thing. This is going to sound pretty sleazy, but it's a turn-off when a woman is very uptight in the bedroom. You can't make love if you can't make peace.
    Gene: "Have faith in me guys, enjoy the ride—you're in good hands. I can handle this. I can do it!"
    Jim: "How do you know?"
    Gene: "I don't!"
    Jim: "I knew it."
    Gene: "That's okay. There's a first time for everything!"

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  12. #8
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    Well, thanks to a certain SOMEBODY, I kinda' have a thing for dark leggings, suspenders, and space ponchos atop a petite frame. Thanks a LOT, Melfina....

    What qualities do you find attractive?-melfina_resize-jpg

    No one's gonna' give you a map. You've gotta' walk your own path.
    - Hilda

  13. Eye Candy Scarab, Mantis thought something in this post is pretty damn nice
  14. #9
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    I can tell you what an undesirable quality is. There's one guy at my college who is a complete and utter narcissist. He's obsessed with Disney (Frozen especially) and he's such a flamboyant little shit, always singing and dancing, always has to be the center of attention. He'll ask how you're doing without really caring what you have to say, but quite happy to talk your ear off about his own business! I consider myself an open person, but fuck that guy.

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  16. #10
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    Mine happens to be sincerity and honesty as well. If you are a dubious person, there is nothing left for me to discuss or have in common with you, I try as much as possible to maintain my distance from from such person as I believe that they are likely to cause one more harm than good.

    Sincere and honest persons are definitely good and appealing to me, I wouldn't mind leaving them in charge of anything without feeling the need to be on security alert if something would go wrong. They are the most loyal kind of persons I know. Sometimes I compare their loyalty to that of a dog.

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