• Is socializing online easier or harder for you?
  • Is socializing online easier or harder for you?

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  1. #1
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    Is socializing online easier or harder for you?

    When I was growing up, I was very shy. I still am quite quiet until I get to know someone but I find that I have an easier time communicating online. I have been part of a number of different forums and it is easier for me to interact with people. In real life, I worry a lot about saying the wrong thing, someone not understanding me correctly, or giving a bad impression. Years after finishing High School, I found out a lot of people were either intimidated by me (I have a bad rbf lol) or thought I was just generally a mean person. I guess that is my fault for being severely quiet and shut off from everyone else. I never found a common ground anywhere. I wasn't a nerd, a geek, a goth, a prep, a stoner, none of these applied to me.

    Either way, I remember when I first started really socializing online, and when I joined a forum for the first time, it was just easier for me. I guess that constant fear of people taking what I say or do the wrong way wasn't so important and because I was not face to face with someone, my social anxiety didn't interfere with me making connections.

    Do you find it easier to socialize online?

  2. #2
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    Easier by far, haha. I've only really ever been half-decent at socialising with just one or two friends at once. Like many of us, on the internet I am pretty much somebody else. Your post reminds me of a part in this video (it's a good channel):



    That also reminds me of a thread I made long ago. I asked whether people feel their offline personality is the genuine one, or their online personality—largely unrestrained by social anxiety—is actually the true them

    I guess extroverts might find socialising online more difficult. Most of them use social media a lot, but I guess that doesn't take much work. Take a few photos, hit your daily quota of pressing "Like" and call it a day. On forums I see way more self-confessed introverts. Maybe those who aren't great writers may find places like forums intimidating, but they might be articulate communicators in person.

    I guess forums are also easier for socialisation because nearly everybody uses a nickname and an avatar. I imagine a lot of people have to really hold back from showing their true colours with their real name usually on display using social media.

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  4. #3
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    That does sound like me with my social anxiety. I have wanted to go places and do things but get too in my head and don't end up going out at all. I wasn't this way when I was younger. Not sure what happened or how I got worse, I guess my panic attacks didn't help.

    As for personality online vs offline, I feel like I am generally more true to myself online. In person, I am quiet and not one to go out of my way to share things about myself because I grew up being teased or mocked for my interests or my general sense of humor.

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    I do find it easier to socialize online, since I seldom go out. I've never had many irl friends because I was either too afraid to connect with people or too awkward to read the room and understand the emotions and opinions of others. Fortunately, I've begun to grow out of that state over the past few years since I've been at college. :-)
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    Much much easier for me. I am absolutely terrible at conversing with others irl outside of family and my group of close friends. Hell, I get nervous calling to schedule appointments. And I'm 31 fucking years old lmao.
    But online, even with things like discord, I don't feel pressure to respond immediately, as there's no awkward silence if I don't. There's also no real need to end a conversation. In person, ending a conversation can be awkward and weird. But online, especially on a forum, you just end your reply. No need to find an excuse to stop talking to someone.
    As for being genuine online, I think I'm mostly genuine. I make the same cheesy jokes and use the same references that very few people understand. Lol.


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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudohippie View Post
    Much much easier for me. I am absolutely terrible at conversing with others irl outside of family and my group of close friends. Hell, I get nervous calling to schedule appointments. And I'm 31 fucking years old lmao.
    But online, even with things like discord, I don't feel pressure to respond immediately, as there's no awkward silence if I don't. There's also no real need to end a conversation. In person, ending a conversation can be awkward and weird. But online, especially on a forum, you just end your reply. No need to find an excuse to stop talking to someone.
    As for being genuine online, I think I'm mostly genuine. I make the same cheesy jokes and use the same references that very few people understand. Lol.
    I am almost the same age and I can't make an appointment to save my life. I had to call Paypal a few months back because I was having an issue with my balance and it felt so awkward to be talking to some stranger on the phone. Another time, had an issue with a purchase, long story short I had a bad reaction to some lotion and the company wanted to talk to me on the phone after I reported it and I never called them back. They wrote me a letter too. Opps!

  10. #7
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    I'm really terrible at presentations because all the focus is on me and there is no back & forth. I'm just expected to keep a conversation going with myself in front of other people (some of which are above me in the organization) and that really messes me up. Other than that I don't have any particular social anxiety and since my job is being a consultant I need to converse with people about life-path altering stuff almost daily. I'm very "low affect" so I tend to be the same in person as I am online because I just say what I'm thinking instead of what people want to hear because in my mind it doesn't seem like a big deal. It's easy to forget that others are more fragile or emotionally driven than I am, so I step on toes once in a while just by being honest when I'm expected to tell a white lie.

    I guess i'm not really answering the question so far. Yes, conversing online is easier for me because a lot of the people I talk to online won't affect my daily life or work so there is less pressure, but none of that comes from me having issues with conversing in person. I tend to be really busy so it's helpful to talk to people in a non-real time setting like Skype chat or a forum where the pauses are acceptable.
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  12. #8
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    My wife will tell you I talk way to much in public and online.

    I get that from my dad.

    I dont have an issue talking with folks.
    "The mighty oak tree was once a tiny nut that stood its ground" -

  13. #9
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    I am usually completely fine talking on the phone, be that to book appointments or to talk to a friend. I'm not so good at group voice chats, though. I'm just bad at keeping up when there's more than one person to talk to. You don't get the same social cues on the phone or microphone as in real life for when to and when not to speak.

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  15. #10
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    Excellent and valid point
    Quote Originally Posted by Mantis View Post
    I am usually completely fine talking on the phone, be that to book appointments or to talk to a friend. I'm not so good at group voice chats, though. I'm just bad at keeping up when there's more than one person to talk to. You don't get the same social cues on the phone or microphone as in real life for when to and when not to speak.
    "The mighty oak tree was once a tiny nut that stood its ground" -

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