Thread: Corrupt-A-Wish

(Darn it, our epic replies have gone! Bah.)

Granted. You're given new shoes, but don't realise that god is a troll and they're filled with jam when you wear them.

I wish I could eat what I want and choose how many calories the food is worth afterwards, thus giving me the ability to be greedy and healthy.

Granted. But your sh*t's will be too large and too hard to push out, even with the use of laxatives.

I wish I had the ability, and the means to write and draw an incredible graphic novel.

(Oh good lord. I didn't consider that.)

Granted, but you're also given terrible luck. You can produce excellent graphic novels, but somehow your work gets destroyed every time before you have a chance to show anybody.

I wish I had a small mantis zoo.

Granted, but they are prone to escape, and since they are pyromaniacal they will set everything you own on fire and flee over yonder hills.

I wish I had an extensive wardrobe full of cute trendy clothes that fit me perfectly, so that I'd never have to go clothes shopping again.

Granted. You have a large wardrobe full of clothes that are currently considered trendy. However, you've also been banned from every clothes shop in the world, and eventually, all the apparel you own will go out of fashion.

I wish I could acquire every computer skill and have the ability to make any digital idea a reality.