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Thread: Life's stuff

  1. #1
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    Life's stuff

    Looking for a light,
    Don't see any in sight,
    Left over in sorrow,
    Just waiting for tomorrow.
    Yesterday's dreams flashing,
    Trying to stop the self-bashing.
    Looking up to the sky,
    Hoping that someday I can fly.

    I wonder where I put my outlaw star box set. I need to start watching it again or get the blue-ray set. I wish there was space travel anime stuff like outlaw star and tenchi muyo from the past. Maybe I've just lost touch with anime.

    I've moved back to my parent's after health issues months prior but feel at lost as what to do now. Not really any job prospects and a small business I want to start just gets harder. I don't want to go back to any factory work or delivery service job but what can I do without a degree these days and even people with degrees are having it rough. Oh well. Just trying to keep myself from loosing it mentally and at least I have family around despite busy friends.

  2. #2
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    I thought you were a freed light. Have you not found yourself? The Blu-ray isn't that expensive if you look hard enough, so I'd consider it.

    What kind of small business do you have in mind? I do feel bad for you. I hope you'll be able to enjoy Christmas, and a more prosperous New Year.
    Gene: "Have faith in me guys, enjoy the ride—you're in good hands. I can handle this. I can do it!"
    Jim: "How do you know?"
    Gene: "I don't!"
    Jim: "I knew it."
    Gene: "That's okay. There's a first time for everything!"

    Anime and Steam info

    Anime-Planet.com - anime | manga | reviews



  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightfreed View Post
    Looking for a light,
    Don't see any in sight,
    Left over in sorrow,
    Just waiting for tomorrow.
    Yesterday's dreams flashing,
    Trying to stop the self-bashing.
    Looking up to the sky,
    Hoping that someday I can fly.

    I wonder where I put my outlaw star box set. I need to start watching it again or get the blue-ray set. I wish there was space travel anime stuff like outlaw star and tenchi muyo from the past. Maybe I've just lost touch with anime.

    I've moved back to my parent's after health issues months prior but feel at lost as what to do now. Not really any job prospects and a small business I want to start just gets harder. I don't want to go back to any factory work or delivery service job but what can I do without a degree these days and even people with degrees are having it rough. Oh well. Just trying to keep myself from loosing it mentally and at least I have family around despite busy friends.
    Sorry for the losses but keep on going, you'll make it cause persistence breeds success.

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  5. #4
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    If you're looking for some good old fashioned 90s sci-fi anime, check out Cyber City Oedo. It's good stuff, we all need something to distract us from the often harsh world around us now and then.



    Don't give up man, it's never too late to find your wings-- it might just take longer than you expected.

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    Thanks guys. I just started watching season 2 of knights of sidonia and this show called 3%, both on Netflix. Trying to keep some thoughts off of my current situation.

    Anyway, I had some interesting dreams last night about watching movies and going to the beach and spending time with my friends like we all used to. Time keeps flying

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    Time certainly does fly- and so does my curiosity! Particularly of when you wrote that nifty poem. Was it written on a whim? Or was it an older one of yours? All I know is I love it. You're quite the poet!

    I haven't stopped living with my father since I was a kid. Never moved out, mixed reasons. I won't push you to tell me about the health issues that came up, but I will push you to remember that we're here for you too. A lot of us here have at least some experience with health problems, but more importantly, we all care about each other. We're all friends too, aren't we? So don't forget, we can act as at least a small part of your mental safety net!

    And to the last line of your poem: I still want to fly too. I put on my bucket list thingy to get a pilot's license someday. Though I'd rather fly on my own. My real last name? It's a bird. I grew up trying to jump off anything I could climb crying that I couldn't fly like my family yet. Blame family pointing at birds and saying they're relatives.
    "I don't know what words I can say
    The wind has a way to talk to me
    Flowers sleep, a silent lullaby
    I pray for reply
    I'm ready"
    -Melfina's Song

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  9. #7
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    Thanks June. I'm glad to have found to community and just reading the posts like the one minute draw an outlaw brings me smiles. Yeah, the poem was just written on a whim. I've always wanted to become a singer one day since like grade school but I dunno. Maybe I can make my own song someday like how you want to get your pilot's license. I was just about to write another poem because a fortune cookie I just got says " it's at the worst of times that you need to summon your optimism."

    I ate the chicken and I didn't care,
    Not one single fuss to spare,
    Drowned in sauce in an instance,
    I see another piece in the distance.
    Can't stop this deep fried joy,
    Let the wings spread like I just got a brand new toy

  10. #8
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    Mmmm-hmmmm!

    Life's stuff-kfcfinger-550x289-jpg
    Gene: "Have faith in me guys, enjoy the ride—you're in good hands. I can handle this. I can do it!"
    Jim: "How do you know?"
    Gene: "I don't!"
    Jim: "I knew it."
    Gene: "That's okay. There's a first time for everything!"

    Anime and Steam info

    Anime-Planet.com - anime | manga | reviews



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    Funny Scarab found this post funny
  12. #9
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    Lost in the branches of blown trees,
    Afraid of the life that would come to be.
    Unfamiliar thoughts eroding my existence,
    Just wanting to have the courage to face the silence.
    The feelings of emotions causing me to feel lonely,
    Gone was the magic that brought glimpses of dreams to see.
    One step two I take to the path of shadows,
    Left behind the mistakes and dreams into forests where hope glows.


    Been watching anime on Hulu and just trying to let the depression pass. I'm just lost in old dreams and feel like the world is moving so fast past me. Can't stop comparing myself to others advancing in life and looking at my failures. Lost interest in a lot of things along the way but hopefully I can get them back in the future. Just lost in hopelessness. ;P. At least a shot or two helps here and there. Just lost in my journey. How many times do I have to start over?

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    I have all these random businesses I want to start. So I filed to become an online bakery at home and deliver and it got approved finally! I'm waiting for the permit to come in he mail. Thing is, I can't bake for shit lmao. And it's hard when eggs and cream aren't allowed. (Cottage food operation regulations). So I went back and forth between vegan and vegetarian recipes. It's so hard to keep it vegan and gluten free. So I've decided to keep the menu with options to add shit as requested. Like extra for gluten free flour or plant-based butter. Replacing applesauce for eggs really changes things. I found a chocolate cookie recipe without eggs so I think I'll start with those first. I was messing with cupcake/Muffin recipes like crazy and it just pissed me off. I don't want to deal with frosting it anyway; it would mess up in transport and all that plastic used aka I'm secretly just lazy af.

    Since we can't cook food at home that's "potentially hazardous" as by law (meat, eggs, shit I don't know of) for catering, (need to have it done in a commercial kitchen.. which costs a bucket of money starting out), I'm thinking of launching a personal chef brand for Filipino food, since my aunt wanted to cook food but the regulations curbed me from advertising online and stuff. As long as it's prepared in the client's home and the ingredients are purchased day of, I don't think there are any real regulations. Some chick got imprisoned or something for like, selling salsa on Facebook, wtf. Total bull.

    For branching out into urban farming, I experimented with hydroponic jars and some stuff sprouted but it's getting pretty hot and they're almost dead lolol. With the kratky system, we don't need to water the plants, since the roots are supposed to extend down into the nutrient water but I dunno. I planted chia, flax, and random peppers but only the chia sprouted. Lol. Maybe if I watered them instead? More experimentation is needed. My poor babies. Maybe I can put them in containers and add a fair amount of cinnamon into the coco coir soil and the top layer to prevent gnats and shit and water them daily, instead of doing hydroponics. Someday I would love to do aeroponics but I'm broke as shit. Problem with urban farming is that there are no zoning permits required for it so I hope my uptight-ass city doesn't say shit if I grow microgreens and gourmet mushrooms and garlic. Working on the microgreens first.

    In more food related stuff, i got free wine bottles from people in Craigslist in the "free" section I was hounding for days out of boredom. Still sitting there supposedly for the mead, wine, and fermented hot sauce I haven't started making yet.

    In relation to cannabis, I want to eventually, somehow, make "fresh" (I guess baked) edibles that incorporate edible ingredients (like pre made infused chocolate sauce). I don't wanna grow mj. From what I've seen, it's like taking care of a baby. I'm too lazy for that. I found the permits and sent emails but need to make calls. XD. I havent done anything marijuana related since like last fall. The few people that I knew that did it don't smoke anymore. I want my products to focus on low doses and for me not worry about getting robbed like a full service dispensary. I'd like to do alcohol infused baked goods as well. (None crossing the two though lolol). Like maybe wine infused baked donuts.

    In manufacturing, I got a sewing machine and stared at fabrics at this one store. I guess if I tried to stitch something random on fabric, I'd get more comfortable. I thought about making socks with ties on them but haven't made a sock yet lol. I saw some YouTube videos weeks ago about measuring the foot, cutting a pattern, and stitching it together to make the sock; compared to the intricate manufacturing machines used at large companies. So many things are automated, it's astonishing.

    I wish I was more mentally fit to experiment more, make more mistakes, and get out there. I keep thinking of past mistakes too much and it prevents me from starting things fresh. It's like a giant lag with memory baggage of the past. I wish I could recall more happier memories. I don't know why my mind is selective and likes bringing up past embarrassments rather than past pleasures and achievements. I guess it's just hard for the brain to recall the baby steps.

    On a health note, I feel like shit right now. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the detox from oil pulling and introducing ginger capsules into my diet. Maybe it's the half a watermelon I ate today. All I know is, I want another buffet. My aunt treated me to one and I rather enjoyed the sushi and fresh fruit. It's really something in life to be able to not have to labor over purchasing the right amount ingredients to cook and prevent waste, actually prep and cook, and clean up your mess. On top of having a variety compared to cooking a big batch of food every week and getting sick of it, only to end up starving yourself or ordering takeout the next week after getting sick of the same stuff. If only my life were more privileged. Nothing says privileged more than having the computer spell check my words on a wireless device, unlimited internet, air conditioning, not worrying about hot water for your next shower like when the water heater/boiler breaks after 17 years of service the week when you want to start baking for that business you wanted to start. Good thing I live with a parental unit until I become rich and fly to a different region on a monthly basis. If only airlines had monthly subscriptions. I'd pay just to be in the air and to land after a 30minute departure because it's so damn liberating and wonderfully exhilarating to acknowledge that you've dodged death and saw the blue sky filled with the same sun that existed the time your parents had sex, the time when you checked out your grade school teacher, or that other time you discovered that white fluid coming out of your wobbling stick flesh was normal and actually rather pleasurful. Yeah, I made up the word pleasurful.

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