• Quotidian Cosmos: a Journal by OutlawBard19
  • Quotidian Cosmos: a Journal by OutlawBard19

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  1. #1
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    Quotidian Cosmos: a Journal by OutlawBard19

    Salvete, amici! I have decided to take up an online journal, a recount of my quotidian dealings as well as musings of a grander nature about life, the universe and everything. Before I do begin this, however, I should like to offer up a brief history of myself to lend more insight as to my life and opinions.

    I was born on the 26th of September, 1998, in a small town in Illinois. I have lived the whole of my life in the Midwest, in small towns throughout central Illinois and Indiana. My father was a minister, and my mother stayed at home. A pretty typical traditional family layout, right? Well, my father and mother divorced in spring of 2005. Turns out my father was an abusive, manipulative man, though I wouldn't realize this till I was much older. After a series of protraced, back-and-forth custody battles, my little sisters and I ultimately ended up living with my father and our new stepmother (he ended up winning the custody rights.) We moved around central Illinois for years, finally moving to Indiana and settling down in my father's hometown. After a few years, he began cheating on his second wife, and ended up physically assaulting her, after which I voluntarily cut all ties with him and began living with my grandmother, an arrangement which has lasted from 2013 until the present day.

    Enough depressing backstory, though. Let's talk about where I am currently. I am currently a first-year college student, and I am planning to major in Classical Studies (Ancient Greece and Rome, etc.) I have been watching anime on my own since 2014. I didn't watch much TV as a kid, to be frank. I mostly read books (which I still do.) My favorite authors include Oscar Wilde, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Haruki Murakami, and Yasunari Kawabata; my favorite poets include Alfred, Lord Tennyson, T.S. Eliot, and John Keats. Some of my favorite anime include Gravitation, Space Dandy, Gurren Lagann, and (of course) Outlaw Star. An interesting hobby of mine is studying languages. I took four years of French in high school, and taught myself some German, Spanish, Italian, and I'm currently working on Japanese while also taking a Latin class. I also happen to collect typewriters as a hobby (I'm a fan of all things retro), and I write poetry and short stories. I'm looking to self-publish by the end of this year.

    I'll do my best to keep this journal updated daily, but right now I need to get some sleep. Have a good night, dear readers, and like I always say, never lose hope, and never stop dreaming.
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  2. #2
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    Ooh, a new journal! You're almost exactly a decade younger than me. (My birthday's October the 7th, 1988.) That's a pretty rough upbringing. Sorry to hear about that. I can't say I understand the divorcing, but I know what it's like to grow up with an abusive father. Classical Studies, eh? It sounds a bit broad, but I'm guessing you'll study literature, music, mythology, etc.?

    Glad to see another Gurren Lagann fan! I'm jealous of your language abilities. How are you learning Japanese? Do you visit teachers or are you just using materials? I ask because I took a beginner's class at college in 2005 but I've forgotten almost all of it, spare the most basic phrases and some hiragana/katakana. Rather than anime or video games I'm more interested in Japanese for business reasons and I'm considering hiring an online teacher. Plus, it's easier to learn (for me at least) than a tonal language like Mandarin. I tried that and failed hard as I have a lazy tongue...

    If you want, feel free to share your short stories at Starwind & Hawking Enterprises.
    Gene: "Have faith in me guys, enjoy the ride—you're in good hands. I can handle this. I can do it!"
    Jim: "How do you know?"
    Gene: "I don't!"
    Jim: "I knew it."
    Gene: "That's okay. There's a first time for everything!"

    Anime and Steam info

    Anime-Planet.com - anime | manga | reviews



  3. #3
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    Journal Entry: 10/17/17

    I'm learning Japanese via Duolingo, but I also have two dictionaries, a textbook, a workbook, and some audio CDs. But I mostly use Duolingo since it's most convenient. It's got an iOS app, Android app, and can be used on desktop. It's free, too. I really, really suggest it if you want to learn a language.

    Anyway, here goes nothing:

    It's early in the morning of October 17th. The 16th went fairly smoothly. One of my classes let out much earlier than usual, so I got to take care of a few errands before my next class. I have Introduction to Classical Latin at 8 a.m.; Argument and Persuasion in Antiquity at 9:20; The Writing of History at 10:40; and Fundamentals of Computer Science at 12:00. I am, however, considering dropping my Computer Science class. I tried my hardest to understand the material, but I'm not good with math by any means, and our material involved more mathematical equations than I had prepared for. I pretty much failed the midterm exam, and my professor and I think it best that I withdraw so as to not have a blot on my record this early in college. As far as I know, I'm doing better in the other classes, which is good.

    I have joined some organizations since I moved in. I'm currently a part of Anime Club, German Club, Tabletop Club, and Concert Band (continuing my clarinet playing.) I'm thinking of creating an organization myself. An association for classical liberals/libertarians who want to discuss issues and ideas in a civil, dignified way without any name-calling or threats of violence. It's something I care very much about, and I hope I can get the Libertas Club off the ground within the week.

    I have also begun assembling a collection of poems for self-publication. My end goal is to be self-published by the 31st of December. Once I have the final collection together, I'll provide a link to wherever I am selling it in case any of you would be interested. I will also be posting some of my work in Starwind and Hawking Enterprises for critique and feedback.

    As far as my general mood goes, I've been feeling rather depressed. Melancholia is very typical for me, since I am prone to depressive episodes, and until I moved in I was taking counselling this past summer. I imagine it stems mostly from my lack of companionship. Simply put, I'm desperate for a boyfriend. I'm a bisexual, but I can't form a romantic relationship with a woman. I'm attracted to them sexually, but not romantically. In fact, a lot of females and female habits tend to repulse me. Men, on the other hand, I'm very much romantically attracted to as well as sexually. The problem, however, is that there aren't any cute single bi guys on campus (that I know of.) I dream of the day when a tall, sleek, well-read prince will take me in his arms and we'll fly off to a happy-ever-after together. Alas, I must maintain diligence in searching for a lover.

    It's getting quite late (or quite early in the morning) and I must be getting to bed if I want to wake up and get some breakfast. I bid you all goodnight. I'll be sure to post some more tomorrow.

    Yours cruising the galaxy,
    OutlawBard19

    (P.S. I hope these posts aren't too long. I don't want to seem overly wordy or verbose. --OB19)
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  4. #4
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    10/19/17

    Not much occurred today. I should probably go out and do more things with more people. But my introverted side always wins out in the end.

    I'm so ready for Fall Break starting tomorrow. I'll be able to replace my phone (I hope.) I'll make a more detailed entry tomorrow.

    Yours, cruising the galaxy,
    OutlawBard19
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  5. #5
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    I had to download a slightly older version of Duolingo on my iPhone since the newest version required an OS upgrade. Japanese isn't there but many other languages are. Hmm.

    Don't worry about long posts. It is a journal after all. Computer science certainly isn't for everybody, and if you're considering dropping it you should consider your mind made if you're not sure you'd enjoy it as a future career. You should switch to something more relevant to you. That's my two pennies' worth anyway. It's good to hear you're settling in fine. Good luck with your society and I look forward to seeing your work at Starwind & Hawking. Self-publication, huh? Are you going down the Amazon route?

    Regarding your present situation, perhaps you could see how student life goes for the next few weeks? Sometimes a romantic relationship isn't needed if you have some good friends. Maybe you'll discover dating material on campus with time. If you're really sure about that, perhaps consider finding someone local online?
    Gene: "Have faith in me guys, enjoy the ride—you're in good hands. I can handle this. I can do it!"
    Jim: "How do you know?"
    Gene: "I don't!"
    Jim: "I knew it."
    Gene: "That's okay. There's a first time for everything!"

    Anime and Steam info

    Anime-Planet.com - anime | manga | reviews



  6. #6
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    10/24/17

    So far my Fall Break has been absolutely bollocks. I've been stranded at my dad's house since nobody else could pick me up from college, and my mom couldn't pay her damn phone bill so my phone is now kaput. I'm irritated at both of them for these major inconveniences, and I am resolved to plan out my Thanksgiving Break in advance so this sort of thing doesn't happen in November.

    However, I am going phone shopping later. Heading to Best Buy to get a phone and a plan, which I will start paying for myself. I don't want to be on my mom's phone plan if she can't continue paying the bills. I'll also have to get a job to pay for this, so I'll be looking into that as well.

    Hopefully my trip to Best Buy goes as planned and I'll have gotten some good out of this disappointing Fall Break.

    Yours, stuck with a stepfamily,
    OutlawBard19
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  7. #7
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    It's been a while since I posted my last entry. I've been bogged down with classwork.

    It's always been difficult for me to divide my time into sections, and I always feel like I'm slipping out of control. Which is how I feel right now. So much class stuff to finish, scheduling, making sure I don't disappoint my family with my grades, and so on. I feel so much pressure, and it's getting unbearable.

    I am glad I have people online to talk to, though. I'll post some more poems and maybe a story in Starwind and Hawking later this evening.

    Yours, cruising the galaxy,
    OutlawBard19
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  8. #8
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    11/12/17

    It's finally starting to get colder. By Thanksgiving week we're supposed to get some snowstorms here in the Midwest, and I can't wait. I love winter weather and I love snow. Playing in it, feeling it fall on my tongue, watching it drift down through the atmosphere--everything about it is lovely.

    I'm working on a novel for National Novel Writing Month. It's a Boys Love/yaoi story, and I hope to have 50,000 words or thereabouts completed by the time the 30th rolls around. I'll post the drafts of the first few chapters in Starwind and Hawking Enterprises later on.

    I'm thinking of starting up an RP on this site as well. Maybe something OLS-related, maybe something original, who knows? If anyone wants to help me draft it, I'd be more than happy.

    Yours, cruising the galaxy,
    OutlawBard19
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  9. #9
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    11/19/17

    Just a few more days left till I can go home for Thanksgiving break. I'll be very glad to get some good food in my stomach and spend time with my grandmother, mom, and siblings. Even though we disagree on a variety of things, I still am glad to see them.

    I sent my mom a Christmas wish list this week. I asked for a gaming laptop, so that I could actually get more into playing video games (my Chromebook won't run anything because it's rubbish.) I hope I get it, even though they tend to cost a lot.

    I'll go ahead and post the first few chapters of my yaoi novel in Starwind and Hawking. It's still in a draft stage, so don't expect anything great.

    I'm still open for starting up an RP. Send me a message if you're interested.

    Yours, cruising the galaxy,
    OutlawBard19
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

  10. #10
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    11/28/17

    Thanksgiving was ok. Got a haircut, finished a paper, and I'm working on a speech for my Argument and Persuasion in Antiquity class.

    I launched a Patreon page to fund my writing career. I'm posting poetry mostly, but I also have a novel in the works, the first few chapters of which I have posted over in Starwind and Hawking.

    Still interested in doing an Outlaw Star RP. I'll probably brainstorm some ideas tomorrow.

    Yours, cruising the galaxy,
    OutlawBard19
    A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him....

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