Thread: Novel Translations

I have no idea how focused I'll be on translating the Novels, but for now, here's roughly five days worth of combined translation/interpretation work.


(Pages 16-21 of the First Novel)

Suzuka's history 4 years prior to Outlaw Star. Translated

Page 16

The power to survive. That is outer-space.

Suzuka is not one of those who live in space; but in the power of desire.

Individuals acquire combat skill. There are several categories, roughly divided as follows: Techniques, and firearm-use.

Wizardy, and common space tech and military technology or similar were mainstream. Suzuka learned niether of these.

When she started sword training, she will not say to anyone. Not even the teacher dares ask.

Suzuka was easygoing, though was grateful to have a teacher. Sometimes one might think she was too easy going for an apprentice.

One month ago, a man appeared on the training field who wanted to learn sword techniques.

The teacher allowed an introduction; the man identified himself as Hitoriga with enthusiasm that could not be felt.

The teacher imposed upon Suzuka's training as a result of being tactful, and nothing more than that.

The man's stature was quite large. Just a guy who was thick-headed and sluggish. Suzuka thought it wasn't worth teaching the man, but the teacher did not mind slow motion.

The field of training was away from the city in the steep hillside.

Page 17

Though life was primative, it was self-sufficient. Nevertheless, civilization was still a necessary evil.

The next day, Suzuka had been put to use in town. She had been sent to shop for her teacher's favorite wine early in the morning.

She returned in the evening.

When she returned to the teacher's hermitage home, she encountered a very unpleasant smell.

~Blood?~ She thought

Suzuka wouldn't slash people, though that does not mean that someone was killed by a sword.

But instinct told Suzuka to run. She could sense the tragedy of the blood.

On the floor of the home, her teacher lie erect on the floor, covered in blood, sloppily stretched limbs, and an arrow above the head. An arrow of ash that pointed up.

Suzuka was stunned, immediately rushing out of the dwelling.

She called out for Hitoriga, searching for him. She had little to no idea as to what happened.

The overhanging cliff-top was spacious and flat, and was where the practice field had been. Then, she saw Hitoriga and the wooden sword they all wielded--Suzuka could not believe her eyes. He was performing flawlesslyl with the sword; perfect form in every respect.

She hadn't seen Hitoriga since yesterday, yet he moved like a different person.

Page 18

The sword flashed more. It is a type of secret technique that was not taught to Hitoriga. Had he stolen it, or had he merely watched?

"Yo"

Hitoriga had turned around, noticing Suzuka. He lacked expression on his face so far, except for the faint smile that was full of confidence.

"What happened to the teacher?"

"I had to put my techniques into practice."

"I don't understand what you mean"

"I killed him. Taught that, and taught that only."

She couldn't believe such a story. The teacher lost to Hitoriga. But the truth of the matter was that the teacher was dead, a body rolled on the floor. Such was Hitoriga's shamelessness. She should take this as reality.

Suzuka pulled out a wooden sword behind her.

"We are in agreement. You want to take revenge immediately, and I learned a few techniques I want to try out."

Hitoriga turned casually.

"HA!"

Suzuka struck first with a technique that shot out a long range from her sword. The teacher would have beaten their oppenent with an ingenius plan, not through raw anger.

Page 19

From the point of the sword, the shockwave traveled outward. Though glaring now, it would be far better if it were to impact than be dodged. Either way, followed by the actual sword, the opponent was sure to be cut down.

However, Hitoriga dodged both of them.

"What a sudden Rakuzan."

How Hitoriga knew that was a mystery to Suzuka. He didn't even need to pull off a parry to Suzuka's brilliant swordsmanship. He was dodging techniques one after another; Suzuka never had time to get a straight shot in.

"Is that the Hien chart or. . . . .no, no, no, you do it this way, Suzuka"

Suzuka's neck was fast becoming sore.

Hitoriga's tone and voice sounded very similar to a teacher's.

"Well then, here we go"

As Hitoriga's sword point was drawing a semi-arc along the gound, Suzuka lifted her voice in an 'ah!' , wooden sword sweeping before the eye.

Two swords met, repeling each other. He knew the move only worked if it was dodged--The reverse Hien, third form.

"Why!? Why are doing this!?"

"Hoho, it would seem strange to you, wouldn't it?"

Page 20

Hitoriga also did the voice of the master.

His face was vacant, and the face of her master loomed strangely among it.

"You! What the hell are you!?"

Eerie thoughts began creeping to the surface in Suzuka's mind.

The Master lay dead in the pool of blood.

There was no head.

"What the hell are you!"

Suzuka's voice was slightly hoarse.

She did not fear her opponent's power.

But something strange and full of "nonsense" came over her: she felt a sense of dread.



Technique after technique flashed again and met, canceling out each other.

"Again, skills among fellow students will get you nowhere"

Hitoriga said in his own normal voice, sword point directed behind him, rising up suddenly.

Koyou (Tiger blade). Suzuka had been impossible to see for just a moment's depth.

He had been faster.




Getsuga (Moon Fang) technique was supposed to penetrate Hitoriga's heart, but instead a severe shockwave overpowered her and blew her back.

"Gwa!?"

The play had knocked Suzuka to the cliff edge, but on one knee she was still ready in a sword posture.

The power behind her technique had not even entered his body.

The bite of the shockwave had been considerable.

Therefore, it was not a sword technique he had used.

"A Tao Master?"

The shockwave she had sustained, it was a form of wizardry.


Page 21 (last)

"Exactly"

"Why would pirates...?"

"Do you want to know before your last moments? In that case, I'll introduce you. I am a senior official of the Kei Pirates under the command of Hazanko-sama. There's only so much I can learn of wizardry, so I also aquire other techniques."

"Aquire? It's not that simple to learn secret techniques!"

"That's my special ability"

"Damn you! What did you do with the teacher's head!? Your ability...it can't be...?"

"The chatting ends here"

He drew upon sword technique Hein.

Suzuka instantly took to a suffering sword form.

However, the Hein was fused with wizardry, making it a new technique.

Suzuka was blown off the edge and sent racing to the bottom of the cliff by the attack.

As her consciousness began to fade in the middle of the fall, she saw a twinkle of stars in the twilight sky.

~I have to go there....~

Suzuka's body bounced upon hitting the rocks.

~If I want to take my revenge on the Kei Pirates, I must go...into...space...~

Suzuka engraved this into her heart as she fell into the distant darkness.

Great work. I can't do a lot to help with the translation (although I'll have a crack at it independently with OCR software), but I can improve the spelling and grammar of your translations without changing the context of it, if that helps.

Nice work, keep it up. Yeah, like Mantis said, it's always three ways to take a translation, either:

1. You do the EXACT translation of the language into English or whatever language you want it to be translated into.

2. You take the exact translation and polish it up or "English-ize" the sentences (structure wise)

or

3. Don't do the translation

I had to throw the last one in there, but I like this! I hope you can get all of the translations done, I will be very happy when the product is finished!

Very, very nice! I applaud this translation, especially for shedding a little more light on Suzuka's past.

in case someone hasn't read the post yet

How in the hell did she survive the fall, though?!