Thread: Your Own Woke Outlaw Star

With Cowboy Bebop's live action adaptation on the horizon, I wondered what would happen if Outlaw Star received the same brutality. If you were the director of an Outlaw Star live action adaptation with the goal of making it woke enough for a modern audience, what spectacular changes would you make?

Just a few changes per reply. I think we can have some fun with this (but I'm hoping we won't give Netflix any ideas) thread if we stretch it out a bit.

Clearly, there needs to be some Gene modification! He is the embodiment of toxic masculinity. I don't think I'll be able to address that alone. Since he's the biggest problem in the show we need to change his behaviour around women. Iris will not have her buttocks touched in the first episode and Gene won't be seen with a sex worker either because it glamorises sex trafficking which is problematic. Gene will also not joke with Jim, offering him the chance to "be a real man tonight". It can still be there but must be changed to "real person".

Further changes needed from you guys.

Aisha and Melfina will have to be heavily modified. Aisha would have to wear a lot more clothes all the time WW2, and Melfina would have to wear a full body swimsuit when she's powering the Outlaw Dtar. Can't have her be nekked. That's exploitation.

I may as well target my favorite character....

Give Aisha Clan-Clann a penis but still refer to her has a female. Should probably make sure her skin is a shade or too darker so she is not confused for a toxic white female with all their family values and racism. Gross. I think the clothing she wears is acceptable because it is body positive but she should be about 50 pounds heavier with a breathing condition. Also, make her hairier, like body hair. For the same reason as my last statement. Colorful underarm hair is still trendy, right?

It is our DUTY to end stereotypical fetishization of Asian women in media, starting with Suzuka. There's only one woman who passes as Asian in the entire cast (which is under-representation first of all), and of course they make her a geisha. From now on she will wear modern clothes & during her introduction we will see her defeat Gene and join the crew out of pity. It's wrong to depict her being defeated and forced to join the Outlaw Star crew as she was in the anime (which was an analogy for White cis-hetero colonization). She will also have an Asian husband in the new series, no more sex-trafficking backstory.

Fred Luo can still behave in a gay way, but it shouldn't be seen so much as comic relief. Gene will need to be changed to appear comfortable with Fred's homosexuality. So when Fred blows in Gene's ear, instead of drawing a gun he should instead say, "Fred!! That tickles! Stop it!" When Wong (bodyguard) tells Gene that Fred is being nice to Gene because he loves him, Gene should tell Wong that he loves Fred too. Because saying "What was that?!" is kinda homophobic, right? When Fred asks Gene to stay in his room to protect him from Twilight Suzuka... Gene stays.

Along the same lines as Zemekis, Lord Hazanko is a terrible character. He's an evil Taoist who constantly chants religious phrases. We cannot have religion in our woke interpretation!
Atheists would feel alienated. He should quote the great queens 9f wholeness. Lady Anita, the great Trigglybuff and Big Red. That will surely attract the woke folk!

Originally Posted by Mantis

he

Uhhhhh, just saw this now. Better update your pronouns before I report this to Buzzfeed, buddy. "Fred" has been Francene for the past 3 years since her transition. STOP. DEADNAMING. HER. Her pronouns are valid. Not to mention that you called Francene gay. She is a valid heterosexual trans woman, so her attraction to Gene is 100% hetero whether or not you accept it. It's 2020.

Originally Posted by Zemekis

Uhhhhh, just saw this now. Better update your pronouns before I report this to Buzzfeed, buddy. "Fred" has been Francene for the past 3 years since her transition. STOP. DEADNAMING. HER. Her pronouns are valid. Not to mention that you called Francene gay. She is a valid heterosexual trans woman, so her attraction to Gene is 100% hetero whether or not you accept it. It's 2020.

I apologise! I still haven't completely washed the original, disgusting, misogynistic, racist, homophobic and everything else anime out of my head. I am so glad that Francene will reveal her real identity and potential. Maybe we'll need to modify Gene further. Not only should he be completely accepting of Francene but he should also respect other pronouns too. Swanzo for example. Xoe feels awfully lonely being the only of xoes kind in that area of space. Gene needs to be accepting of xoem.

Speaking of GENE... that MAN...

Spot the problem!

Me: How much woke do you want it to be?
Netlfix: Yes...

Here's my take on Woke Outlaw Star:

The only way to wash Gene out of toxic masculinity as the main hero is to turn him into a heroine, Jenny Starwind. She's literally perfect at everything she does (bounty hunting, grappler fights, etc.), she does not have a fear of space and she does not need any crewmembers (they are just a ball chain that slowls down her awesomeness). In order to underline Jenny's perfection, she must fight toxic masculinity which is embodied by Ash Clan-Clan (a toxic, over-the-top patriarch) and Gilliam (who can't help but think in terms of sexist stereotypes). Jenny can pilot the Outlaw Star on her own, so there's no need for Melfina (apart from the fact that Jenny is so pefect that Melfina falls for her). Jim is not an equal, but a child that constantly needs to be rescued by Jenny. Suzuka? Obviously, Jenny is way better as an assassin than her.

Suggested cast:
Jenny Stawind: Brie Larson
Melfina: Mackenzie Davis (because transgenderism)
Ash Clan-Clan: Dwayne Johnson
Suzuka: Scarlet Johanson (because whitewashing)
Jim Hawking: Shia LaBeouf
Gilliam: Jason Statham

Of course, this is just a rough outline. In order to polish up the script, I'd have to consult J. J. Abrams himself.

Making a "woke" OLS, jeez... yall have nailed it.