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Thread: Dear OSUK

  1. #1
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    Dear OSUK

    I don't think it'll catch on but hey, it's worth a try...

    Ok, I'll explain how this works.
    The idea is that you copy and paste the template and replace the numbers with what's is written next to to colors, letters or tv shows that correspond with you. Below is my example.

    Dear Outlaw Star UK,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg under the bus and I saw you Sit on My knee caps. I'm sure you're Open enough to understand That I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning Your old New Kids on the Block blanket, but keeping The oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and The apartment building is on fire.
    Go milk a cow



    Here's the template, do it bros:

    Dear (Person of Choice),
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8), but keeping (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
    (12)


    1) What's the color of your shirt?
    Blue - I'm in love with your cat
    Red - Our affair is over
    White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
    Black -Our romance is over
    Green- Our socks don't match
    Grey - You're a leprechaun
    Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
    Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
    Brown - The mafia wants you
    No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
    Other -I dislike your eyelashes

    2) Which is your birth month?
    January - That night you picked your nose
    February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
    March - When your dwarf bit me
    April - When I tripped on peanut butter
    May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
    June - When you put cuffs on me
    July – When I saw the purple monkey
    August - When you smacked my ass
    September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
    October -Last year when you peed your pants
    November - When your dog humped my leg
    December - When I finally changed my underwear

    3) Which food do you prefer?
    Tacos - In your apartment
    Chicken- In your car
    Pasta - Outside of your office
    Hamburgers - Under the bus
    Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
    Lasagna - In your closet
    Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
    Seafood - In a clown suit
    Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
    Pizza - At the mental hospital
    Hot dog - Under a street light
    Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

    4) What's the color of your socks?
    Yellow - Ignore
    Red - Put whipped cream on
    Black - Hit on
    Blue - Knock out
    Purple - Pour syrup on
    White - Carve your initials into
    Grey - Pull the clothes off
    Brown - bit of
    Orange - Castrate
    Pink - Pull the pants off of
    Barefoot - Sit on
    Other - Drive over

    5) What's the color of your underwear?
    Black - My boyfriend
    White - My father
    Grey - The Catholic Priest
    Brown - The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
    Purple - my corned beef hash
    Red - My knee caps
    Blue - My salt-beef bucket
    Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
    Orange - My Blink 182 cd
    Pink - You are "My Little Pony" collection
    Other --The elephant in the corner

    6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
    One Tree Hill - Senile
    Heroes- Frostbitten
    Lost - High
    Simpsons- Cowardly
    The news - Scarred
    American Idol - Masochistic
    Family Guy - Open
    Top Model - Middle-class
    Annat - shamed
    House- Sterile

    7) Your mood right now?
    Happy - How awful you are
    Sad - How boring you are
    Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
    Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
    Depressed – That we’re related
    Excited - That I may pee my pants
    Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
    Worried - That your Ford sucks
    Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
    Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
    Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
    Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
    Other - That your driving sucks

    8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
    White - Your toe ring
    Yellow - Your love letters to me
    Red - The pictures from Vegas
    Black - Your pet rock
    Blue - The couch cushions
    Green - Your car
    Orange - Your false teeth
    Brown - Your nose hair clippers
    Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
    Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
    Pink - The cut toenails
    Other - Your balls

    9) The first letter of your first name?
    A/B - Your virginity
    C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
    E/F - Your neighbors dog
    G/H - The oil tank from your car
    I/J - Your left ear
    K/L - The results of that blood-sample
    M/N - Your glass eye
    O/P - My common sense
    Q/R - Your mom
    S/T - Your collection of butterflies
    U/V - Your criminal record
    W/X – Your sucide note
    Y/Z - Your credit cards

    10) The last letter in your last name?
    A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
    C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
    E/F -Never will forget that night
    GH – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
    I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
    K/L - Hate your cooking
    M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
    O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
    Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
    S/T - Love your sweet, sweet ass
    U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
    W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
    Y/Z – am better off without you

    11) What do you prefer to drink?
    Wine- Our friendship is ruined
    Soft drink – I love Oprah
    Milk - The apartment building is on fire
    Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
    Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
    Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
    Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
    Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
    Whiskey - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
    Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
    Other – you should stop picking your nose

    12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
    Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
    France - Love always
    Spain - With tears of sadness
    China – You make me sick
    Germany – Please don’t hurt me
    Japan - Go milk a cow
    Greece - Your everlasting enemy
    USA - Best of luck on the sex change
    Egypt – Kiss my butt
    England - Go drown yourself
    Italy - Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore
    I can drink water like it's tea.

  2. #2
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    RE: Dear OSUK

    I think this is quite awesome, and I appreciate the randomness. Anyway, let's try this...

    Dear Blue,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants under the bus and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that you need a sex change. I'm returning your love letters to me, but keeping your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and I love Oprah.
    You make me sick.

    (Marvellous. )

    p.s. I do love Oprah for being such a lolcow.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7liYfhRgXGk

  3. #3
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    RE: Dear OSUK

    Ok... that made me giggle so much. xD

    Anyway,I'll try a new one:

    Dear Mantis (haha, it's payback time*poit*),
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg In a clown suit and I saw you Sit on My boyfriend. I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That I may pee my pants. I'm returning Your balls, but keeping The oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and you should stop picking your nose.
    Best of luck on the sex change

    Another lot of randomness!
    I can drink water like it's tea.

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